Lethal Obsession

24.

"The entirety of hell is contained in one word: solitude."

― Victor Hugo

"The little girl's dependency on her father made [his] abuse more insidious."
― Joan Frances Casey

"There are no heroes...in life, the monsters win."
― George R. R. Martin

"Power resides where men believe it resides."
― George R.R. Martin

"...I ran away today, ran from the noise,  away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin' up in World War three
Never knowin' what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family..."

- Pink – Family Portrait

Chapter 24

The moment when I saw my father standing proudly at the entrance of Mateo's penthouse would forever be sealed in my memory. His brown hair was neatly arranged with a few grays that gave him an even more serious look than the one his demeanor did. That was probably the reason why women were still going crazy about him. However, it only aroused even greater nervousness and hidden fear in me. The way he looked at me, with his cold and calculating eyes, made my body tremble. Maybe I would have laughed at such a fast and strong change of my feelings if the scene wasn't as terrifying as it was.

I turned my gaze to my mother, whom I only then noticed standing hidden behind her husband, whose body was supposedly protecting her from an unknown, potential danger. That might have been sweet if I hadn't known otherwise. Our family was anything but sweet. What he was doing was just a way to show his dominance and masculinity, nothing more. There were moments when I wondered if he loved her at all, if he was even capable of loving. He didn't love me, that much was obvious, but maybe he loved her. That thought was the only thin thread that kept my childhood hopes alive.

I was brought back from my thought by Mateo's hand around my waist which suddenly became seriously tense. I glanced at him and saw him clenching his jaw as he stared coldly at my father. I didn't even notice that he pulled me completely to my body as if my parents were a danger. It was comical how similar Mateo and my father were. I just hoped my mother and I weren't.

"Alexei," my father introduced himself. His dominant voice would scare anyone away, but the person he was speaking to used the same tone, the same way of frightening people, so he didn't exactly get the effect he expected.

"Mateo," my boyfriend shook his outstretched hand and squeezed it firmly, using a bit more force than necessary. My father returned the gesture with the same measure. I rolled my eyes at their apparent fight for dominance despite the tense atmosphere.

"Tara, baby," my mother's uncertain voice made me look back at her. She seemed sad and a little tired. She tried to hide it with makeup and she almost succeeded in that, but I knew her. Although we were not on the best of terms, she gave birth to me, we understood each other better than anyone else. Whenever I would see her in this state I would feel guilty because of the way I addressed her, but then she would put on her mask again and all that guilt would evanesce.

"Mother," I shortly replied, trying not to sound too cold.

"I missed you," her voice cracked a little at the end. Although she was only a few steps away from me, she ran up and wrapped her arms tightly around my body. I almost suffocated because of the pressure seeing as Mateo decided to grab my waist even tighter and pull me impossibly close to him. However, despite the discomfort, I patted her lightly on the back, not wanting to make this mother-daughter moment even more intimate. I felt weird and I couldn't help but be suspicious and wary of her actions. I felt almost the same way when I last went to visit them and when she hugged me just as tightly. Maybe we both had some weird personality disorder where our behavior would change according to some variables. I couldn't think of a better explanation for our often contradictory changes in behaviors and mood swings. After I stopped whatever awkward thing I was doing with my arms, she kept on hugging me for a while and kissing me on the top of my head a couple of times. The whole situation felt quite strange and uncomfortable, until the moment when my father coughed and thus made her step away. She obeyed him, as was to be expected. She stepped away from me and straightened her clothes as if she had just been caught in something she shouldn't be doing. She turned to Mateo and held out her hand.