Lethal Obsession

28.

"The hardest part of being in an emotionally abusive relationship, it's actually admitting you're in one." ― Anna Akana

"It is better to break your own heart once than having someone breaking it every day. " ― Unknown

"When someone isn't treating you right, no matter how much you love them, you've got to love yourself more and walk away." ― Unknown

"...Everything you love will burn up in the light..."

- Make me wanna die – The Pretty Reckless

Chapter 28

There were days when I spent hours watching rhythmic rainfall through the window. Nothing in my life calmed me like that somewhat mystical sight. Every noise, every movement, every scent, engulfed the cells of my body, making my peace eternally fresh. A million different thoughts, scenarios, memories would pass through my head, and yet, it was as if there was nothing, only emptiness and some warmth that spread through my blood. The universe was in perfect harmony.

It was that exact feeling that completely disappeared from the deepest parts of my mind as I sat my eyes on the man I loved. His eyes were the exact opposite of the said feeling. There was no harmony or mysticism in them. They were dominated by a hurricane that was preparing to destroy everything in its path.

There were countless times when I saw him looking like that, when his anger would exceed every limit, but this time it was as if there was something else, something different, something far more dangerous. Maybe it was just a feeling of mine, which essentially felt the same as always, only it used to quickly be forgotten, hiding in some deep corner of my mind. And yet, there was something truly wicked in the way his eyes tried to burn our intertwined hands.

Although to him, the move I made right after noticing him must have been eons too late, I immediately pulled my hand out of Luke's. It was not so difficult to conclude that all but rational and realistic scenarios were going through Mateo's head as to why he had witnessed that.

As if all the alcohol had magically evaporated from my body, I no longer felt even the slightest bit tipsy or disoriented. The hurried, almost insane beats of my heart did not stop me from taking heavy, shaky steps in his direction, in hope that I would be able to alleviate the inevitable catastrophe. I glanced briefly at the door on the floor behind him. I didn't allow myself to think about how he had certainly broken it so he could come inside, or why he showed up in the first place. The only thing I cared about was to somehow calm the flames that were burning inside him.

"Mateo-" I started uncertainly but he did not allow me to finish. When I was close enough, he gripped my wrist with his strong, rough hands and pulled me hard, putting me behind his body, as if protecting me. However, those were by no means his true intentions. My well-being was not on his mind at that particular moment, but rather the need to hide me from the eyes of my friends, especially one of them.

"Look, mate," Luke started, but Mateo literally growled, stopping him from speaking further. Luke's intention was as clear as a day. He wasn't going to shut up. He wasn't afraid of anyone, which was very unfortunate.

I could never understand why many people have a need to act as if they are not afraid of anything, as if fear is an unknown word for which there is no explanation in the dictionary. More often than not, courage has been shown to be more a reflection of madness than wit. Fear is a necessity, essential and inevitable. Fear is what had kept many alive.

Judging by the way things were going, it was difficult to expect that that scenario would be the result of this situation as well.

I tried shaking my head frantically to let Luke know it was better for him to keep his mouth shut. For a moment his gaze stopped on mine and based on a quick change of his facial expression, I realized that he understood the message. However, that movement of his that lasted only a few milliseconds did not go unnoticed by Mateo. His rage which didn't even need a trigger flared up in flames that threatened to destroy everything around him.