Lethal Obsession

19.

"Fear is a lack of time. Fear is the absence of pain. Fear is formless. Fear exists before and after. Between before and after is an animal. Before and after you're only human."

― Zarko Lausevic

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

― William Shakespeare

"A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart."

― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'

'That is the only time a man can be brave.'

― George R.R. Martin

Chapter 19

Fear, anger, confusion. Three completely different emotions, and yet they affected my body equally. I wondered if it was normal for me to feel that way. My thoughts were all over the place and my mind was slowly losing control of my body. I was seeing him for what felt like the first time, for who he really was. I refused to admit to myself that the man in front of me was the same one who had held me in his arms a few hours earlier and kissed me with his heavenly lips. Yet, somewhere deep inside my very being, the truth I wasn't ready to face was fighting to break free and come to light. If I had listened to that feeling then, that ray of light in the sea of lies, maybe everything would have been different. Maybe. Maybe.

Mateo's eyes were so dark that in their blackness one could barely make out the fire burning in his body. It was clear by the way he looked at me, by his clenched jaw, furrowed eyebrows and hands formed into fists. He looked ready to kill, and I was the one on the receiving end of his wrath.

After a few moments of absolute silence in which it seemed as if the whole world had stopped, I pulled myself out of the trance and hugged my chest in an attempt to lessen the damage my actions had already provoked. That brought him up back to reality and, next thing I knew, he was taking huge steps in my direction. He was in front of me before I could even blink. He gripped my upper arm tightly with his big hand and, without a shred of tenderness, yanked me out of the water towards him. I stumbled due to his actions but, before I could fall, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to his body, not caring that I was completely wet.

"Hey!" I heard Lena protesting when, with a force I wondered if he was even aware of its amplitude, he snatched my jacket from her hand and threw it over my shoulders.

He cursed when he realized how short it actually was and, in the same rude and aggressive way, he removed it from my body. Then he took off his own jacket and processed to put it on me. The piece of clothing looked so big on me, I felt like I would drown in it. However, I did not dare oppose him. The way he carelessly squeezed, pressed and pulled my hands made me realize that something sinister was going on inside his head and I knew that I would regret opening my mouth.

He didn't wait a second before he turned in the direction of the woods and, with his hand around my wrist, pulled me after him. He was walking so fast I had to scurry to catch him, tripping a couple of times along the way. His grip on my arm was tight and painful. I tried to free myself, but he only tightened his hold. I was sure that a trace in the form of a fairly visible bruise would remain there.

After a few minutes we, finally reached our destination. We were in the middle of the woods, surrounded by trees and the chirping of birds, though Mateo's deep breathing overpowered the sounds of nature. He finally let go of my wrist and with quiet but dangerous steps walked to the enormous SUV that I had only then noticed. I started rubbing my wrist to at least a little bit alleviate the dull pain, carefully watching him the entire time. When he got to the car, he put his hands on the roof of the monstrous vehicle and then rested his head on them. It was obvious that he was trying to control himself, calm his breathes and anger that was burning in him, thus I decided to keep quiet.