Lethal Obsession

9.

We accept the love we think we deserve. ― Stephen Chbosky

How you choose to feel today should not be dependent on others. ― Anthon St. Maarten

Chapter 9

"Tara."

"Father."

If it wasn't so sad, it would be funny.

How does a person even get to that stadium? The child is supposed to feel the safest when he's near his parents, no far away from them.

So many times I tried to discover the point in our lives when everything had gone wrong, but I never found the answer. Perhaps the turning point had never happened, maybe it was always like this. Even if that wasn't the case, I couldn't remember a time when we were a happy family. I sometimes wondered how that would look like, I was certain that we weren't a valid example for that.

My father and I were standing in front of each other. There was nothing more than an air separating us, but it felt like there was some invisible barrier that kept us from truly sense the presence of the other. I felt the burden of that fact on my chest. Never in my life have I experienced such pressure.

"Come in," he told me and moved a bit so I could have enough room to pass by.

I debated if I should even walk further, scared that, in one moment, I would trip and fall. I wasn't sure if my legs were stable enough to carry on the weight. Nevertheless, the fear of my father's reaction won over my insecurity. I entered the house that should feel like home, yet it was anything but.

Nothing has changed since the last time I've been there. Actually, it would be odd if something did change. Everything was supposed to be perfect and decorated by specific rules, otherwise, my mother would flip.

"Oh, Tara, honey!" Speaking of the devil.

Before I was even able to completely turn in her direction, she had already had her arms around me, which put me in a rather funny position. Her grip was almost as strong as Mateo's. Maybe I could introduce them one day, they would surely be thrilled.

"I missed you so much!" She carried on with her affectionate speech that made no effect on me whatsoever. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes which demanded a lot more than strong will.

"Tara! Respond to your mother," My lovely father ordered me.

"I missed you too," I listened to him like I always did. This time, however, I couldn't control so I had to roll my eyes.

Finally, she got her hands off me and looked me in the eyes- My mother was a beautiful woman for someone her age. I looked like her a lot. The only difference seemed to be that she had her naturally brown hair changed to black and she also had it cut, now it was almost to her shoulders. That contributed to her femininity, she looked like a real lady and she acted like one too. I would probably envy her if I hadn't known how truly unhappy she actually was. She would probably have succeeded in hiding that little fact from the world, but I knew better. No matter how strained our relationship was, she was my mother nonetheless, I knew her, and I could see past her mask. She was essentially a very, very empty and sad person.

"Are you hungry? Would you like to..." She started but was immediately interrupted by my father.

"Later, Maria. We have more important matters now," He said coldly, with a warning tone. I noticed that her body turned rigid for a moment. She tried to hide it, composing herself a moment later, giving him a small smile, however, I was able to catch it before that, and everyone was aware of it. I anticipated his next moves, I was nervous due to the reason he wanted me home in the first place. I knew that it wouldn't bring me any good, but I still had a small hope that, somehow, everything would end well.