Scars

Part 18

Alyssa's POV:

A few days later:

It was Saturday afternoon.  And I was sitting on the couch, contently watching television and eating a bunch of my favorite snacks:  chips, dip, Doritos, hot Cheetos, party mix, fucking  cheeseballs... everything.  It was fucking great.  Perfect.  And that was pretty much my plan for the day.  To snack, watch tv, and be as lazy as possible.  And I was more than excited about not moving off the fucking couch at all.   Unless absolutely necessary.

After all, I was exhausted.  It had been a strange week.  Because A few days ago, Jordan and I had hooked up.  We had had unexpected sex.  And as good as it was, not planned at all.   But the weird thing was, I hadn't talked to her since.

And why?  I wasn't exactly sure.  Because like I said, I liked Jordan and all.  But in all honesty, I wasn't ready for any kind of relationship.  Of any kind at all.  And I didn't want to contact her too soon after us fucking, because I didn't want to give her the wrong idea.  Because, honestly, I just wasn't sure where I wanted things to go with Jordan.  I knew she liked me a lot and it went without saying, that I was pretty sure that is was safe to say that the ball was pretty much in my court.  

But the fact was, like it or not, I still had feelings for Maddie.  I still thought about her all the time.  And what was even more confusing, was that I had such an array of emotions when it came to her.  A part of me still loved her and missed her and wanted to work things out with her.  But another part of me felt like it was never going to happen and that she had moved on and was happy without me.  And it made me angry that it seemed as if she didn't even care.  And it made me feel like just fucking giving up.  So I guess I just didn't know. 

And just as I was about to get more comfortable on the couch,  out of the blue, I got a text.  I looked at my phone to see who it was.  And not surprisingly, because I knew it was coming at some point, it was Jordan.  But damn.  I was also a little bit annoyed because I specifically told her not to hit me up, and that I would contact her.  Because I didn't want to be bothered until I was ready.  But whatever, I guess.

'Hey' she texted.

And honestly, I was a little hesitant to text her back.  Because again, I didn't want to give her the wrong idea.  But at the same time, I did like Jordan and I didn't want her to think that I was just a fuck and run type of person, because I wasn't.  I mean, I could be a real asshole and all, but even I wasn't that much of a jerk.  So, not wanting her to think I was just blowing her off,  I decided to text her back.  

'Hey, what are you doing?'

'Not much', she replied.  'You busy today?'

'No, not really.  I'm just chilling.'

'Okkk.  Me too.   You wanna maybe hangout today?  If you're not busy?'

And again, I hesitated.  Because the truth was, I was enjoying not doing shit today and I was trying to be as lazy as possible.  But the more I thought about it, I figured why not?  I mean, what was the harm in us just hanging out.  So I replied back.

'Yeah.'

'Yay!  There's a cafe that just opened.  Maybe do lunch?'

'Ok.'

'I can meet you there in an hour if that works', she suggested.

'K', I lazily responded back, yawning.

'Sounds good!  Be there in a little bit!'

-

Goddamnit.  Now I had to get up.