Scars

Part 28

1 week later:

Alexis' POV:

"Babe, you have to get out of bed.  That's all you've been doing", Nikki said, as she climbed back into bed with me, and wrapped her arms around me, having already been up for hours.

And she was right.  That was all I've been doing  for over a week now.  Ever since the incident at the party. I just didn't want to get out of bed.  At all.  In fact, the only time I did, was when I absolutely had to,  when I absolutely had no choice.  When I had to go to work.  But other than that, I pretty much just stayed in bed.  I had absolutely no energy.  Or any motivation at all to do anything.

And why, I didn't really know.  I just felt sad, and anxious, and depressed.  And I just had no desire to deal with anything.  Or anybody.  So, not knowing what else to do, I just stayed in bed. Because it was the only thing that made me feel better.

"I know.  But I'm just tired.  And I just don't feel like doing anything."

"I know.  But you have to get up and move around and at least get some fresh air.  It's not healthy to just stay in bed like this."

And as soon as she said those words, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, because I knew what she was saying was true.  It wasn't healthy.  Or even normal.  But I just couldn't help it.  Because I was falling deeper and deeper into depression and I was becoming more and more anxious with each passing day.  So much so, that I couldn't even function. And the only thing that made me feel better was to hide away, and shut myself out from the world.  Because it was the only way that made me feel completely safe.

"Just go away", I said, as I rolled over, now facing away from her.  Because honestly, I was annoyed, because she didn't understand.  She didn't understand at all what I was going through.

"Just get up and at least have breakfast.  It will make you feel better."

"I'm not hungry", I said, honestly.  Because I wasn't.  In fact, I didn't have any appetite at all.  And hadn't for nearly a week.

"Lex, you have to eat.  You haven't been eating hardly anything.  And you're dropping weight.  It's not good."

"I don't care.  I'm not hungry", I said, burying my head under the covers.

"Well, at least let me bring you breakfast and you can eat it in bed.  But you have to eat."

And I suddenly felt angry.  Because she just didn't get it.  She didn't understand at all.  And all she was doing was pushing me and trying to make me do things I didn't want to do.  And it was making me upset and angry, and causing my anxiety to rise even higher.

"I'm said I'm not hungry Nichole!  So just stop!"I snapped, in a sharp tone, lashing out at her.  Because she was upsetting me and making me feel worse.  And even though I knew she was just trying to help, the fact was that she wasn't.  All she was doing was just making me mad.  "I already told you I don't want get up and I don't want anything to eat!  So just stop!"

She paused, somewhat taken aback by my sudden abruptness.  But I just couldn't help it.  She was upsetting me.

"Ok, ok. Geez.  I was gonna ask you if you wanted something to drink next.  But probably not a good idea."

"Probably not", I said, putting the pillow over my head.

She let out a loud sigh.  Because I could tell she was a little bit frustrated with me.  And I was frustrated too.  But I just didn't know what else to do.  Or how else to act.

"Lexi, please. If you don't want to eat, at least talk to me.  Ever since what happened, you've barely even spoken.  You've just completely shut down on me."