Mara's Magic

ii - left

I sat in the Astronomy Tower with my knees tucked up close to my chest, my arms wrapped tightly around them. A few tears dripped slowly down my cheeks, landing on my robes that I had placed over my legs. The salty droplets soaked slowly into the cotton fabric, leaving a dark stain. I breathed in a deep sob, hiccupping.

My whole world had been turned upside down. 

When my mind went back to what had happened in Dumbledore's office, the tears began streaming faster. I breathed heavily, leaning my back against the wall. "Calloportus." My wand stayed next to me and I simply mumbled the word, but the door still locked anyways. Part of me wanted to exclaim in excitement that I had just done wandless magic yet again without having to practice the spell with Snape, but the other part knew that it would probably be the only way I would be able to avoid being killed by my Obscurus, so I'd have to get better at it. If I used my wand too often, my magic would build up while being funneled through it. If I just let it go, the pressure would be relieved. At least, that was my theory.

My sobs echoed through the cold room and my hands shook. I grasped them together tightly, my knuckles turning white at the strain. I nestled my head into my knees, squeezing my eyes closed. My head was still pounding and I was quickly becoming lightheaded again. I knew that I should have gone down soon, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to face my parents or Dumbledore yet. Not like that. Not right then.

Could I even call him that anymore? I was a Dumbledore too. 

Albus, I supposed. I'd call him Albus. 

A thought resonated in my mind: I should have known.

I mean, my hair was a giveaway, sure, but there was pretty much everything else too. My nose was skinnier and smaller than everyone else's, my face more of a diamond and skinnier than my siblings', a bit more cheek-bone centered as opposed to having a strong jaw. My eyes were a crystalline blue, and though they were in common with Bill and Charlie, they had always been a shade lighter. And I tanned much easier than everyone else, very rarely burning. My eyebrows were more angular and thicker, my eyelashes not as long. I was about four inches shorter than I should have been, given that the shortest female cousin I had was 5'7". The freckles that ran up my arms and across my cheeks were splotched rather than being intricate dots. 

And not to mention I was nearly sorted into Slytherin. Oh, what an embarrassment that would have been. More tears sprung from my eyes at the thought. If I hadn't convinced the Hat to put me into Gryffindor, how would my life be different? It would be rubbish, I knew that much. I mean, what true Weasley would have even had the option of being sorted into Slytherin? All of my siblings had been sorted almost immediately into Gryffindor, their true colors shining through easily. Gryffindor House is in our blood - no, it's in their blood.

I let out a weak sob, remembering again why I was in the Astronomy tower. It's because I wasn't truly a Weasley. 

I was a Black. I didn't even know who he was, my dad. Who was Regulus Black? 

I wondered if I was anything like him or my biological mother. Did either of them have blonde hair? Were they Gryffindors too? Not likely, given their ancestry. What were the Dumbledores like, or the Notts, or the Yaxleys? What about the Blacks? What were they like? Were my grandparents still alive? Could I meet them? Would they even want to meet me?

More tears slipped down my cheeks as my body shook. Everything I'd known up until now wasn't real. It wasn't my actual life, my actual life should have been very different. 

But, I'm lucky to have the Weasleys as my family. I'm lucky that they wanted me and that I have them. I'm lucky to have grown up in such a loving environment. At least I knew that they chose me, even if my biological family didn't. I would always have them.