Say when

21

TW mention of drugs

Meredith sat numbly in the dark musty hallway with the distant sound of a child's cry and someone yelling, she could hear the dripping of a broken pipe nearby... her body held up by the wall behind her and her feet sprawled out across the floor... she sat there with mascara running down her cheeks with her tears staring at the closed door that she had called home...

There was a new silver padlock attached to it as well as a large red paper stapled to the front of the door that said EVICTION NOTICE' and something scribbled on there about a small fire in her apartment...

She felt her life starting to spin out of control again... the flashbacks of the ramifications of the last fire coming back to her... the scene earlier with Mimi, what all her co-workers and friends must be thinking of her now...

Her hands started to shake as the words of her mother rang in her ear you're such a failure just like him! You always were and always will be!'... she squeezed her eyes closed and reached a shaky hand into her bag... she grabbed into a small glass straw and pulled it out of her bag.. then she proceeded to pull out a small bag containing a white powder substance...

She put the straw in the bag with shaky hands and leaned into it, she sniffed some of the contents into her nose and leaned her head back feeling it starting to spin and the pain she was feeling becoming a little numb one second at a time... she heard the sound of footsteps walking down the hall...

She closed her eyes hoping whoever it was to walk on by her, but to her dismay they stopped... right in front of her... she slowly opened her eyes as they crouched down in front of her...

Her face filled with a numb shock as her cloudy green eyes clashed with a pair of deep blue ones... he looked at her and then glanced at the contents in her hands... she felt the shame come back to her and a knot growing in her stomach threatening to cut off her oxygen...

His lips pressed together and his eyes looked at her calmly.. something that surprised her further...

"Its not just a once in a bad day thing is it?" he asked softly...

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and blinked the pools in her eyes away...

"It is." She whispered out "I've just had a lot of bad days."

He reached out taking her hand that was holding the small bag and looked at her tilting his head...

"You don't need this love." He whispered...

Her fingers gripped tighter onto the bag feeling threatened...

"I do." She whimpered out, tears now rolling again down her swollen cheeks "I've tried to stop but.... I cant."

He tightened his grip a little on her hand meeting her grip... trying to reach the contents...

"Let me help you." He said softly with a slight comforting smile...

She looked at him hesitantly, with a smokey vision... her world around her seemed to spin out of control, she never had anything to rely on except what was in her hand and even then it was only temporary... she needed something stable, something strong... and that's what she saw in him...

"Ok." She whispered... he tugged at the bag but it was still being held tightly hostage by her shaking fingers...

"You have to let go." He said softly.. she looked down at her prized possession and then at him...

"Just one more." She said with a desperate whimper...

He tilted his head letting out a sigh.. reaching up and stroking her cheek wiping off the trail of tears...

"Its now or never." He said softly...

She looked into his eyes feeling the comfort in them surround her tiny shaking body and let go of the bag, her hand dropping in her lap... she did her part... now it was up to him.