Say when

50

After four long weeks of work, four weeks of aching muscles, sore backs, secrets and hiding things from the person he loved the most. His hands were calloused from the hard work, his skin a little weather beaten from working outdoors, his mind exhausted from always being on guard as well as studying for school.. Derek however.. was ecstatic.

He'd finally gotten all the money together to buy Meredith the ring of her dreams. He wasn't planning on finding a ring the day he was walking down by the docks, he wasn't even sure if he was ready to propose.. but when he saw the ring in the store window.. he saw her face light up when she first saw it, he saw it glistening on her finger, he saw their wedding, their children, their whole lives together.. and he knew.

He knew that Meredith was the one, and he knew that he didn't have any reason really to ask her to be his wife.. so he set his plan in motion.. with the ring in mind he wanted nothing more than to slide a ring on her finger that was just as beautiful as she was.. its what he wanted for her, and its what he knew she deserved.

His plans were to go the next day on his way to school to get the ring.. it was also their birthday.. he had plans, big plans.. they still had to go to school but after that.. the night was theirs. He smiled as he climbed the stairs heading home for the night feeling like his insides were bursting at the seams almost unable to contain himself and to wait.. but he knew that the short wait would be worth it.

He tried to downplay his giddiness and smile as he reached the door not wanting to give himself away but knowing that his future wife and soon to be fiancé was on the other side of the door was making it hard.. He opened the door and stepped into the apartment ready to greet the love of his life when his happy emotions were soon sobered when he laid eyes on her sitting at the table looking over a piece of paper with tears running down her face.

"Meredith?" he asked concerned as he walked over to her seeing her look up hardly able to control her sobs "What's wrong baby?"

"Nothing." She sniffled out.. he titled his head at her shaking it slightly..

"Now you and I both know that, that is not true.. so spare me the detective work and tell me what's got my love shedding tears."

She looked at him kneeling down next to the chair she was hunched over in and looked into his comforting concerned eyes and knew that she could never lie to him.. she looked at the paper on the table and then back at him..

"It's stupid really." She sniffled trying to cover her tracks still..

"Why don't you tell me what it is so I can make that determination on my own." He said.. she rolled her eyes and let out a defeated sigh..

"Its.. well there's this honors summer class." She said shaking her head "And I've done so well in Professor Warren's class this semester that he suggested I apply for it.. he said that it would be really beneficial and if I did well I could graduate with honors... and it would look amazing on my resume when I apply for an internship."

"That's great Mer." Derek smiled supportively..

"No." she sniffled "Its not."

"What?" he frowned.. "Did you not get in?"

"I did." She sniffled harder "I didn't think I would get in.. I applied but I didn't think I would get in.. but I did.. I.. I cant believe it.. I mean I didn't even really want it but now.. I just.. I don't know."

"Ok." He said calmly trying to asses the situation "So you got in this program.. but why does that have you crying?"

"Because." She sobbed "I cant do it... the books alone are almost $2,000.. and we cant afford that... we can barely buy anything other than what's on the grocery list so.. it was a nice thought.. but I just.. cant."

"Oh Meredith." Derek sighed looking at her feeling like the air in his lungs had just been sucked out..

"I don't know why I'm so upset.. its stupid really." She sniffled..

"Come here." He says softly as he wraps his arms around her and gently rubbed his hand up and down her back as she laid her head on his shoulder.. he closes his eyes feeling guilt start to twist in his gut and wish he hadn't put them in such a tight position... he nuzzles his nose into her soft hair and gently whispers.. "You really want this don't you?"

She doesn't speak just simply nods as another sniffle comes out of her nose.. he lets out a heavy sigh and squeezes onto her tightly as he whispers..

"It'll be ok."

The fatigue of emotions soon wears her out and he soon feels her go faint in his arms and her sniffles stop.. he smiles realizing she's fallen asleep and he picks her up and carries her into the bedroom where he gently laid her down and tucked her in under the blankets..

He kisses her forehead softly and stands over her staring at her for a few moments feeling all the love in the world and sighs knowing his one goal in life is to just make her happy..

He turns and walks into the kitchen picking up the paper on the table containing the class information and booklist and grabs his car keys off the table as he heads for the door trying to ignore the sense of disappointment lingering over his head.