Pleasing (H.S)

two

Iris

Working at pleasing is going very well. I don't get to see all of the people who interviewed me everyday. I see Molly three times a week but it isn't the same. I work everyday of the week at the office. I do a lot more than being a creative director but i don't care. I like it. I like working there. It is the something i am excited about. And I am so happy i found it. 

Emma is growing everyday and I tell you that I love it. I want her to stay a baby forever. I think that it a matter of months that she will get to stop calling me Mummy and i will become just Mum. She is very extroverted and she has a lot of friends at school. But, as she says to me from time to time she only wants Millie. 

I know how the two of them understand each other. They are both of unnormal families. I don't even like this word. Who is the one to tell us what is normal and what isn't? Millie has two dads and Emma has only a mum. But they are both loved, both happy and taken care of. They live in the 21st century, on contradiction with some parents. A lot of the parents are looking at me or Patrick and Chris weird every time we go to take out kids from school. They are looking at me with pity written all over their face and they are looking to Patrick and Chris with disgust. 

I tell my daughter everyday that every family is different. I tend to remind her everyday of how much I love her. She may be young to understand why i do this but i don't want her to come back home one day crying about not having a daddy. 

She, of course, has asked me a million times. My answer is the same every time. Every family is different and that i love her like a mother and father at the same time. 

Her father abandoned us when he learnt that i am pregnant. We didn't have a big fight. I wish we had. We sat down and talked calmy about what was going on at that moment. He wasn't ready for a kid, but i was. I knew that i would be a great mother. He left the same night, telling me that he doesn't want any parental right. That's why my daughter has my last name. He never phoned me, he never wanted to ask about that little girl. 

I saw him last year when we went to Manchester to see my family there. He was holding his son. He seemed really happy and content with the idea of having a kid. He even greeted us. I think that was the moment my heart broke a little more. He didn't want a kid with me. I wasn't enough. 

These thoughts haven't left my mind ever since. It is really difficult to trust another person ever since Michael. I haven't done that yet. I am afraid that i will never be good enough for someone to spend their whole life with me. And that thought is really keeping me behind. 

Today we have an official meeting in pleasing. That means that Harry, Harry and Jeff will be there as well. Currently, I'm the only one waiting there. 

The door opens and Harry, the Styles Harry, come inside. 

"Good morning, Iris." 

"Good morning, boss." 

"I told you to not call me that." 

"You are the boss though." 

"I know, another thought to keep me up at night." He sits next me. I observe him. He first takes off his jacket and then he puts his phone to the desk in front of us. He takes a sip of his coffee while i talk. 

"You have amazing partners and you know that there are always people who you can talk to if you are feeling overwhelmed. Without paying, you know." 

"I know, but it is too much sometimes." 

"I know, think positively. You do something you love and you receive the love that you give." He nods. 

"How's your little girl?"