My One-Sided Affair

Audition

Trying to stop yourself from shaking when you are nervous is impossible. The more you think about it the worse it gets. This was the state that NuNew was in when Mark walked into the green room. Seeing Mark made NuNew want to cling to him in fear, but he held back his nerves and began wringing his hands together instead. NuNew had never auditioned for anything before and did not know what to do with the overwhelming mixture of feelings coursing through his body.

"Try using that energy. You can run back and forth or jump up and down. I personally like taking a deep breath, then I clench my muscles, and exhale slowly, relaxing. Try it", Mark said.

NuNew tried breathing and clenching and exhaling but started to whine nervously getting the order mixed up. Frustrated he jumped and felt immediate relief. Jump jump jump, deep breath. Bounce bounce bounce, deep breath. Satisfied NuNew looked inquisitively at Mark. Mark stared back with the kind of look you see men reserve for their own children, or puppies.

"Good boy", Mark said.

He reached out to tousle NuNew's shiny black hair and gave him a tight hug.

"You are going to kill this audition."

NuNew's response was, bounce bounce bounce.

Calling Mark that first time, had been a feat for NuNew. Julian had been bugging him daily, sending him videos, and photos. NuNew always delayed deciding and would reply Not yet. or When I finish midterms. As time dragged on it became, Let's get through our finals first. It's not that NuNew didn't desperately want to call, it was Nova, his overprotective twin. He was dead set against him calling Mark the scammer. No matter how NuNew explained, Nova would not back down. Finally, the truth of Nova's concern came out. It was the optics.

Nova was pragmatic and knew that they did not live in a world that accepted people for who they were. Unlike his twin who only saw the best in everyone, Nova knew that NuNew would be targeted, and attacked just for acting in an LGBTQ+ series. What would happen if they discovered his flexible sexuality. Nova wanted to shield his brother, who was only just figuring things out, from the reality of the filthy, narrow-minded world that they lived in.

During the day, Julian hyped him up so by the time NuNew was on the bus home, he was ready to call the number on the business card. By night Nova's worry would eat away at NuNew's resolve as his concerned twin talked him down from the high that Julian had spent all day working him up to. As a result, NuNew felt like a seesaw. Julian was correct, NuNew wanted this, but his brother also made sense. This up and down was making NuNew anxious and unbalanced. He needed to decide one way or another or he was going to get an ulcer at the age of 18.

One constant throughout NuNew's period of flux was that NuNew yearned for the courage to be part of the DMD world. He had watched and rewatched hours of vlogs and rowdy content on the DMDTV, channel. It was hilarious when the DMD actors would dare each other to eat bugs or prank each other. He yearned to join them when they went on trips to Japan and Korea. Everyone in the videos seemed to be having so much fun.

Of course, he especially liked anything with Zee Pruk. He adored his soft eyes, and how he was quick to laugh. NuNew thought he was gorgeous and could watch anything Zee was in over and over. Analyzing every expression, the sexy man made. All the DMD boys were good looking, but none were special like Zee. His Zee had the best of everything. He could act, dance, and sing. He could make your body burn with his smoky eyes, or make you laugh until you cried tears when he tripped over nothing and went flying. There was something about him that made NuNew's throat ache.

The moment that tipped the scale in favor of calling Mark was watching, his favorite scene from Zee's series "Why Are You." That, and his brother was not home to stop him. Julian, that sly fox, had come over, to study, and had sent a link to NuNew. NuNew took the bait and opened it. What young man would rather study when they can drool over Zee Pruk. When NuNew recognized his favorite scene, he uttered a happy squeal. The video began on a rooftop. Zee and another male actor were talking. The boy put his hand over Zee's eyes and when he removed his hand Zee looked so soft and vulnerable. NuNew's heart melted. Julian, smirked. He knew NuNew like the back of his hand and knew the affect that scene would have on his conflicted friend. When NuNew looked up at Julian with doe eyes, Julian laughed out loud. He could almost hear a squeak squeak sound each time NuNew blinked. Julian knew he had NuNew right where he wanted so he flashed the now worn looking black and gold business card at NuNew. Taking it from his hand NuNew dialed the number and put it on speaker. Mark answered on the fourth ring.