I can't do this anymore

Chapter 15 - for trusting me

Alexia's pov:

I woke up and saw Car still asleep on me. I decided to get pay back for yesterday. I snuck out of the room and and banged on Mapi and Jenni's door.
/'for fucks sake what do you want'/ the door swung open to revel a hung over Jennifer Hermoso.
/' will you help me wake up Car as pay back for yesterday'/ I smiled sweetly at the women in front of me. She was about to answer when Mapi's head popped out from over Jenni's shoulder.
/'yes yes yes I'm up for annoying Car'/ she said and dragged Jenni out into our room.

We got a few more of the girls to come with us and we gathered around the sleeping girl in front of us. She looked so peaceful and for a second I felt bad for her. Then I remembered that yesterday she poured water on me and I didn't.
/'okay ready on 3'/ I whisper.
/'1, 2, 3'/
We all shouted
/'CARMEÑ'/ at the same time.
She sat up and screamed. We all fell over laughing at her and she sat and pouted. Ona sat next to her and hugged her from the side.
/'awwww sorry Tiss Tiss'/ she said sarcastically.
/'fuck off Ons'/ she said and the older girl fell off the bed. We all started laughing again at that.

At breakfast everyone had massive headaches from the night before and Ona got everyone's attention on our table. I looked at Car in confusion but she just shrugged her shoulders.
/'okay guys I just wanted to say that I will no longer be playing for Barça.'/ me and everyone looked at her in confusion.
/'what why'/ Mapi said
/'I just want a challenge and as change. I love Barća don't get me wrong but I want something different. Just for a little bit though I want to come back.'/ she said and Car put an arm round her shoulder.
/'okay so where are you going?'/ we asked her.
/'Manchester United'/ she said while grinning. You could see in her face that she was really exited for this and I was happy for her.
/'OH MY GOD YOUR COMING TO ENGLAND'/ Car said excitedly and she pulled Ona up tackling her in a hug.
/'Carmeñ SHUT UP you hurting my head more with the volume'/
/'sorry Jenni'/ she said
The girls fell over and started laughing. This would be good for Car and I was happy for them.

Me and Car were back in our room after breakfast. We were sitting on my bed.
/'so are you coming back to Spain with us or staying here?'/ I asked her.
/' I think I'm just going to stay here I have a match in 3 days'/ she said back.
/'ooo who are you playing'/ I asked her.
/'I'm not too sure yet'/ she said.

Carmeñ's pov:

After many tears and hugs, me and Ona got in a cab. The rest of the team not playing in England we're flying back to Spain.

/'are you exited Ons?'/ I asked the girl next to me. It was 30 minute drive to my house but Ona had a 3 hour taxi drive ahead of her.
/'yeah actually it will be and adventure!'/ she said. I could see how exited she was and I was happy for her. Surprised but happy.
/'can you even speak any english?'/ I asked her.
/'ummm yeah'/
I laughed at this know she was lying.
/'okay come on say something'/
/'okay'/ she said
'Hello my name is Ona Batlle I am Barcelona in Spain' she said in her best English accent.
/'that was shit'/ I laughed at her
/'fuck off'/ she laughed as well.
/'okay first off you need to say that you are from Barcelona not that you are Barcelona'/ I said.
/'oh sorry how do you say that?'/

The whole time we continued the English lesson until the cab pulled up at my house.
/'Tiss I'll see you soon yeah?'/
/'yep I sure will Ons. We will play each other soon and we will smash you'/ i said and i hugged her.
/'okay love you Tiss bye'/ she said
/'bye Ons love you to'/ I said and shut the door.

I took a deep breath. It had been a long few days and I needed to just chill out. I needed my brother. I pulled out my phone and called the hospital.
'Hello?'
'Hello this is Carmeñ Le Tissiè I'm calling about my brother'
'Yes hello how can i help you?'
'I was wondering if I was allowed to see him today'
'Umm no sorry he had visitors yesterday so you can't see him untill 2 days time'
'What the fuck why not I'm his sister'
'Sorry miss the same rules apply for everyone'
'Okay thanks bye'
I was pissed and stormed up the stairs to my house. I flung open the door and slammed it behind me. I sunk to the floor with my back to the door and put my head in my hands. I needed my brother. After seeing everyone with their family it reminded me of the little family I have. It brought back memories of my home life and tears began to fall down my cheeks. It was a time in my life that I never seemed to be rid of. It always seemed to come back to me. To remind me.

'Lee?' A Canadian accent said. I didn't move just sobbed into my hands.
I felt someone sit next to me and pull me on their lap. I leaned into the player and hid my face in her shoulder while I sobbed. She hushed me and rubbed my back.

We stayed like that for a while until we decided to move onto the sofa. She pulled me up and gently sat me on the sofa. She then took my stuff into my room for me. I found the controller and turned on the TV. I felt someone sit near me.
'Don't make it awkward now Jess' I said as I came closer to the girl
'Sorry can't help it' she said. I sat right next to her and she pulled me into her arms again. She held my hand and I drew circles on the back of her hand.

'I thought you weren't coming back for a few more days' I said to her
'Well I had nothing to do so I came back for a bit of peace and quiet' she said. I had my head on her shoulder and I could feel her throat vibrating as she spoke. I laughed a bit at this.
'What' she asked me. This made me laugh even more.
'It's nothing don't worry' I said settling myself on her shoulder again.

It was a while before we spoke again.
'Do you wanna talk about it?' She said softly.
'Not really' I answered immediately. There were only 2 people who knew the whole story. Lex and Marc. Mapi and Ona knew somethings but not everything. I didn't want people to treat  me any differently and I didn't want him finding me.
'Okay I'm not going to make you but I'm here for you' she said holding me tighter.

I wanted to tell her. She made me feel safe. I debated telling her in my head and I decided to tell her about Marc.
'I have a little brother' I whispered.
She looked at me softly.
'That is so cool I have a little sister!' She said brightly. I will always admire her ability to see the brighter side of life.
'Do you know why I wear the number 13?' I asked her.
'No' she said and I started playing with her fingers.
'Well when my little brother was 13 he was playing in the Barça under 15 youth age groups. He was the best in the group and Me and Alexia were in the stands watching him. He ran but sipped and toppled over. At first we thought he was fine but he didn't get up. He was unconscious. We took him to the hospital and they said that he had brain cancer but it was pretty early so it could be treated. He was doing okay for about 2 years. But then he started to get bad again. About 7 months ago I was told that he wasn't going to make it. I cried and screamed and swore at the doctors telling them that they hadn't done enough. But it didn't change anything. Then they told me that they had to move him to a different hospital with better facilities. One that happened to be in London. So the real reason I moved here is because my brother has only a few weeks left to live and he is in the hospital about a 10 minute drive away' it felt nice to get it off my chest but saying it made it all real and I broke down again. Jessie gently rubbed my back and pulled me closer to her.

'Thank you' she said. I could see her eyes were watering as well.
'What for' I asked a bit confused
'For trusting me' she said.

'What do you wanna eat?' She turned to look at me
'Ummm can we get sushi!' I asked her
'Yep come on then!'

We got into her car and she drove us to the drive through. We got our food and stopped on a field. You could see the sunset from the car and we ate our food. We chatted for a while about how our breaks were. I liked spending time with Jessie. It was easy and the conversation just flowed. On the way back we sang our hearts out to the radio and it was about 10pm by the time we got back.

'Jess I'm really tired it's been a long day I'm just gonna go to bed' I said yawning.
'Okay Lee me 2' she said
'Goodnight Jess thank you for today'
'Of course Lee goodnight'

I walked into my room and threw on an old top and shorts. I put a jumper on over the top. I brushed my teeth and got into bed after a long day. Lex texted me to say that she was home and I got comfy in my bed.

But I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned for ages. I got up and walked to Jessie's room. I gently knocked on her door and heard a soft
'Come in Lee'
I came into the dark room and saw a figure lying on the bed.
'Are you okay?' I nodded and walked closer.
'Do you wanna stay' she said to me and opened to duvet for me to climb in. I settled myself with my head on her chest and she put an arm around my waist.
'I never answered your question' i said. She slowly ran her thumb up and down on my waist giving me butterflies and making me blush. Thank god it was dark in here I thought.
'I was so upset today because the hospital said I couldn't see him yet' I said
'I'm sure you will be able to see him soon yeah?' She continued to talk about something but I didn't hear and I fell asleep in her arms.

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Well now you know a bit more about her past but their is still lots to know. Thank you for reading xx Also Barça won the champions league and I'm so fucking proud of themmmm