I can't do this anymore

Chapter 22 - im proud of you

Carmeñ's pov:

It had been 10 days that I had been in Spain and I was feeling much better. We had spent new years with some of the Spain and Barça girls. I missed them all so so much. Mapi gave us all tattoos for Marc.

Flashback
/'right do you know what you want?'/ Mapi asked me.
/'yep I want these. This one on my ribs, this one on my wrist, this one on my left arm and this one on my left bicep'/ I said. I already had quite a few tattoos. I had lost on my arms to cover up what was underneath.
/'okay you just lay there my love and I will be done very soon'/ she said as I lay down ok the sofa. Everyone had already got theirs and I was last to go. I trusted Mapi to do it free hand.

One it was done I kissed her cheek and got up.
/'thank you Maps'/
End of flashback

I had gotten 3 small lines on my right wrist. They represent the 3 people in my life that I had lost.
On my bicep I got the words 'with you wherever you go' it was one of the last things Marc had said to me.
On my ribs I had the words 'some souls are too beautiful for this world & so they leave'
Finally one my left lower arm. It was of the word 'always' and Lex got one in the same place that said 'forever'. We already had a few matching tattoos but we decide to get another one. Lex put it on her instagram.

@alexiaputellas
(Photo of Alexia and Carmeñ's arm next to each other with the tattoo showing)

Liked by @ona.batlle and 1,432,676 more

@alexiaputellas- siempre y para siempre @carmeñletissiè

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One the 10th of January Lex and the rest of the girls had to go back to training. She had asked me to come with her but I decided to just stay at home today. I had spent many days being sociable with all my old teammates.

I jumped onto the sofa and decided to answer my messages. I started off by answering the Chelsea girls and letting them know that I was taking a little break but I would be back soon. They had all seen my insta post and understood. I called Jill for a bit and showed her my tattoos.
'Look Jilly' I said as I showed her the one on my wrist. I loved all my tattoos and loved getting new ones.
'It's so nice!' She said. I continued to show her the rest with lots of excitement.

I also FaceTimed Jessie for a bit after she had finished training. She answer the phone very sweaty as she was walking back to her car. I showed her all my tattoos and we talked about Christmas and new years. We had become really close and I missed her lots. I decided that tomorrow I would go and train with Lex for a bit. I missed football.

I decided to go on a run so I got changed and left the house. It was very therapeutic.

When I got home to see Piña and Patri spread out on my sofa.
/'I'm back'/ I sang as I twirled into the room.
/'heyyyyy how's was your day'/ Piña asked and I sat down next to her.
/'it was good how was training'/ I said and I put my head on Piña's lap and my feet on Patri's
/'it was terrible the whole thing was fitness tests'/ Patri complained
/'awwww do your poor little legs hurt?'/ I said sarcastically and she swatted my arm.
/'fuck off Tiss'/ she said.
/'ooo someone woke up on the wrong side of bed'/ I teased. She went to get up but I was quicker and jumped into Piña's arms.
/'save me Piña'/ I squealed as we all burst into laughter.
Patri got up and jumped on me in Pina's arms. She rolled off us and lay next to us with me in the middle. We turned the TV on and stayed like that for a while.

/'where's Lex?'/ I asked the girl next to me.
/'she stayed behind for a bit and told us to go without her'/ Piña said. Even though it was only 4pm Patri was asleep on my arm. Piña was also cuddled into my other side.
/'okay did she say when she will be back'/ I asked.
/'no sorry'/ she said and closed her eyes. I decided to text Lex.

Lex🤍🧸

/Lexyyyy when will you be homeeeee. Also shall I start making food or wait /xx

/DO NOT COOK BY YOURSELF get Piña or Patri to it for you I don't want a repeat of last time. Also I'll be home at about 6 love you be safe/xx

/You have so little faith in me but don't worry I'll get Piña to do it. Love you to be safe/xx

/'Piña do you want to cook for me?'/ I smiled sweetly at her. She rolled her eyes but smiled .
/'yes we don't need reminding what happened last time'/ she said laughing.
/'fuck off Pina'/ I said also laughing.

She finally got up to make me and Patri food.
/'Tiss Pats foods ready!'/ she shouted. We both jumped up and ran into the other room.
/'thank you Pina'/ we said at the same time standing ether side of her. We both kissed one of her cheeks and sat down opposite her next to each other. She put the plates in front of us. It was stir fry.
/'oh Pina I love you'/ Patri said with her mouth full.
/'ewwww close your mouth'/ I hit her arm. She just stuck her tongue out at me.

We sat there slowing eating and chatting and laughing. It remedied me how much I missed Barça. The girls were my family and I hated being away from them. The door opened and we heard keys rattle. I put my finger over my lips and the other 2 girls. They smirked knowingly as we all crept and hid behind the island. We heard footsteps enter the room and a voice.
'Hola?' Lex called into the rooms we were hiding in. I held up 3 fingers 3.......2.......1 and we jumped up. Lex screamed and jumped back. All three of us started rolling on the floor laughing. Lex had an unamused look on her face.
/'that was so not funny girls'/ Lex said with her hands on her hips.
/'come on Lexy I'm sorry'/ I said and she wrapped me in her arms.
/'it's okay I forgive you Car'/ she said and held me tighter. When we pulled away Patri said
/'we are sorry as well'/
/'nope your not forgiven just yet'/ she said back and I laughed again.

The past few days I hadn't really thought about Marc. I almost felt guilty for moving on with my life like nothing had happened.
'hey you disappeared for a sec' a voice said over the phone. I was FaceTiming Jessie.
'sorry I was just thinking' I said shying.
'what about' she said. I had been telling her lots recently.
'well I just can't help but feel a little guilty' I said playing with my fingers
'look at me' she said and I looked at her through the screen.
'you are doing nothing wrong okay he would want you to carry on. You told me that he Evan said that to you. You have nothing to feel guilty about' she said. 'I'm proud of you'
'I know thanks J'
'Anytime'

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Bit shit sorry. Also happy birthday Onaaaaa. I act love her sm. thank you for readingggg xx