Summertime Regrets

28

POIGNANT PLACE

***

He was stunned when I said those words.

"You mean..."

"Stop giving me mix signals, please. Alam ko naman na sa una pa lang, ako ang may mali-- pero, linawin mo naman, please?" I was still looking afar.

"I told you, ask something so I could explain--"

"Do we still have a chance? Can I still fix the mistakes I made? O matutulad lang din 'to sa inyo ni Millie." I looked straight into his eyes. My eyes turned watery, I hate this! I'm such a crying baby. Dominic held onto my shoulders and made me face me.

"You can't fix them alone, we need each other to fix them. And also, stop comparing yourself to Mill, please." Inayos niya ang buhok ko at hinawakan ako sa magkabilang pisngi. "You've never been my ex, you never cheated on me. You will never be Mill."

I looked at him again, confused.

"Pero-- mas malalim 'yong galit mo s-sa 'kin, 'di ba?" I started to breathe heavily.

"Why would I hate you? May ginawa ka bang ikakagalit ko? Ni minsan hindi ako nagalit o nagtanim ng galit sa 'yo, Ruth. Aminadong nasaktan ako, nadurog ako, pero hindi ako nagalit." He run his middle knuckles on my face.

"Then, could we still..." I couldn't finish a word anymore. It's getting hard to breathe.

"I've been waiting for you, Hazel Ruth. As I said, even if it takes three or more years, I will wait." His voice is so calm, it's giving me comfort. "I've been waiting for you to come back. It's only you. Nasa 'yo ang desisyon."

"Eh, si Fia. Ano mo siya? You're treating us the same, 'di ba?" I dipped my face off my knees.

"I told you, Fia is less than a frie--"

"No, you can't say that. Opposite ang pinapakita mo. She's special to you," I said in the middle of sobbing.

"She just needs someone to lean on, I've got no choice but to be on her side."

Hindi ako nakapag-salita nang marinig ang sagot niya. Kailangan siya ni Fia?

"Sofia's family is so complicated, hindi ko na rin maalala kung kailan kami nagkakilala." He continued explaining while I'm in silence.

"But what I feel towards her is only sympathy." He caressed my back and kissed the top of my head softly. "Please give me more chance, Hazel Ruth."

I gathered the strength to speak my mind. I breathe deeply and blow a huge amount of air. He, again caressed my back as if telling me to take my time.

"You should be the one to give me a chance, Dominic. I'm sorry."

"No, sorry. We both did mistakes in different ways. May kasalanan din ako." He hugged me tightly. Sinuksok ko sa leeg niya ang mukha ko at yinakap din siya.

It's been so long since the last he hugged me. Ito rin ang unang beses na ang tagal naming humiwalay sa isa't isa.

"I'm sorry," paulit-ulit kong saad, I know saying it again and again is not enough to heal the wound I made inside him. "I'm sorry, Dominic."

"It's okay, everything will be fine. Just please, don't leave me alone again. 'Wag mo na akong iwan." His voice was like a child begging for his mother to stay with him. "I love you, Hazel Ruth."

Tears overflowed from my eyes when I heard him saying the three words. My heart was at peace again. That was the happiest moment this year gave me. I will never forget how he confessed his feelings again.