Summertime Regrets

Epilogue

DOMINIC

"Tuloy tayo sa Saturday?"

Nahagip ang tingin ko sa dalawang Junior High na napadaan sa hindi kalayuan sa 'min. Lagi ko na silang napapansin dalawa, minsan may iba silang kasama na mga kaibigan. I guess, she's Aubrey. A friend with Naij, my friend's younger sister.

"Ano, Dom, sama ka, ha?" Lumingon ulit ako kay Art nang mahina niyang hinampas ang braso ko.

"Oo, free ako." Pagtango ko at muling sinulyapan ang dalawang babae na lumagpas na sa 'min. That girl beside Aubrey is a bit attractive. May dark aura nga lang siya na mukhang ang hirap lapitan.

After our class, I asked Art about Naij's friend, he said pupunta rin daw sila. I'm looking forward to meeting that girl. And as I expected, nando'n siya. Jay Art's place is such a help.

Matagal ko na rin siyang napapansin sa harap ng faculty, minsan sa seat ni Ma'am Elma, I guess she's a teacher's kid. Because of my curiousity, I came to my aunt's house just to ask about Ma'am Elma's background. And there, I found out that she's really a teacher's daughter.

From that day I saw her looking at me near the faculty, I smiled at her which made her blush. That was the day I started admiring her.

"Gago, tol, bata 'yan. Ano na lang masasabi ni Mill?" Natatawang hinampas ni Chester ang braso ko habang nakaupo siya sa hagdan ng loft bed ko.

Honestly, I no longer care about Mill. I don't care about her regrets. Labas na ako ro'n.

"Mukha  kang tanga niyan." Naka-awang ang labi ni Chester habang nakatingin sa 'kin. I asked him that I should be the one to pick up our aunt every afternoon. Para magkasabay kami ni Hazel sa faculty.

One day, we've got free time for our PE. Some of the groups are practicing for their dances sa baba. At kami naman na tapos na, nagpaiwan na lang sa room. Tuwing free time ay sobrang ingay sa room kaya nakagawian kong lumabas at doon tumambay sa sirang desk as tapat ng hagdan. 

Kahit na naka-earbuds ako ay naririnig ko pa rin ang mga ingay na paparating galing sa second floor. I stopped typing replies to Chester when I felt someone staring at me. I felt electricity through my veins when I saw her, Hazel Ruth.

Nagkatinginan kami at ilang segundo bago siya umiwas ng tingin sa 'kin. She's so cute, especialy when she tries to avoid my eyes.

"Ah, Josh.. try natin sa fourth floo--"

"Maingay." Hindi na siya pinatapos ng kaklase niya. Sinilip niya pa ang fourth floor at napasimangot. It took me seconds before I realize that they were here to film something.

"Magvi-video kayo? Sige kayo muna rito." Tumayo ako at agad nang pumasok sa room. Having a short eye contact with her is enough to call it a day.

"Sabi niyo nasa gym sila?" Her voice was full of irritants but still, I could tell she was still adorable.

I thought I could only admire her from afar, but not until I got the chance to talk with her.

"They left me." Said with her childish tone. I acted like I wasn't affected by her voice but... kinikilig ako.

I felt like I'm so open when it comes to her. Pinilit kong 'wag munang magk'wento sa kaniya tungkol sa family background ko but my mouth and tongue wouldn't cooperate. Kusa silang kumilos at sinabi kay Hazel Ruth and tungkol sa 'kin.

"Is anything wrong?" I adjusted the side mirror to see her through it. "Hey, Hazel Ruth." I tapped her knee to call her attention.

"If there's something that was not right, it is our bond." I was stunned, those words that came out of her mouth stabbed me.

"Mali siguro na napapadalas 'yong pagsasama natin, eh. Mali na naging close tayo."

Please, stop it. It hurts me.

I thought I could confess to her this time. Ilang beses kong plinano 'to pero lagi na lang hindi natutuloy.

But the most painful part of it was that incident about our fathers. I tried to fix our relationship in the middle of the case about his father stabbing my father in front of me. Inaamin kong nasaktan ako at nagalit sa pamilya nila, but I just can't let my anger conquer my feelings towards her.

"Dominic, pakinggan mo naman ako."

It is the most painful conversation. Watching her begging me to end it all. She was crying, not because she needed me, but because she wanted to put an end to us.

 "Please... Dominic, please."

"Just please, let's end this. Hindi ko na kailangang isa-isahin pa ang mga rason, this situation is enough for us to end this."

I regretted not telling her how I needed her. Dahil lang sa takot na ipakita sa kaniya ang pag-iyak ko, hindi ko na nasabi kung gaano ko siya kinakailangan.

Kahit wala na siya, kahit walang kasiguraduhan, naghintay ako. Naghintay hanggang sa dalawang taon, nahanap ko ulit ang babaeng minamahal ko.

"Can I court you? Hindi na ulit kita bibitawan."

"You don't have to court me again, Dominic. Let's date," she said with eyes in tears,

Seeing her crying of happiness made me want to take more care of her.

She's my fragile, crybaby Hazel Ruth. I will never hurt her. Mas tatanggapin ko pang ako ang masaktan, 'wag lang si Ruth.

"I said, you don't have to face papa. Baka ano pa ang gagawin niya sa 'yo--"

"Ruth, he's your father. I need his permission to marry you. I will get his permission whatever it takes." Her eyes were full of amusement when I said those words.

I'm doubting myself if I can face her father, but it is for formality and respect. Ayaw kong pakasalan siya na hindi man lang alam ng papa niya.

"Kailangan ba talaga akong pumunta? Baka hindi ako tanggap ng ibang tao ro'n." Tito Francis' voice were calm. "Hindi ka ba galit sa 'kin, Dominic?"

"Sir, I was. Pero matagal na 'yon at hindi ko po kayang magtanim ng galit sa ama ng babaeng minamahal ko." I said those with all my heart.

Hiningi ko si Ruth sa kamay ng mga magulang niya sa tamang paraan. At ayaw kong umuwi siya sa kanila nang luhaan.

"How do you feel, Mrs. Madrid?" I sat beside her on the couch and extended my arms on the backrest.

"Ang formal mo!" Mahina niyang sinuntok ang hita ko at sumandal sa balikat ko.

"Okay. Kumusta ka, misis ko?"

It was the first painful summer, yet the summer when I learned to grow.

Summer when she left, and when she came back. 

Hazel, my precious gem, my citrine.

END.