Flames of Love

Chapter 30 - Feeling of Loss

The last sentence said by Aarav made her heart sink in grief and sorrow. Not able to hold her restlessness, she interrupted inbetween and said , " You agreed to marry her then ? ".

Aarav said , " You know what I had never declined my parents any request ever. I would have not declined this one. Because she was in this state because of me ".

She asked , " So you agreed to marry her? ". Aarav just nodded in a yes.It felt someone smashed her heart with an stone into pieces. But the worst thing was even on those pieces only his name was written.

Aarav spoke:
But I didn't said anything and at that point of time. I wasn't even much sure about how to handle it. I was so immersed in my guilt that I was not able to think what is going on in my life. As soon as my father said it even my mother gave an assuring smile to him that she is okay with this decision. I don't know how my parents were able to such understanding that they happily accepted each others decision. But this decision should be mine right. I never wanted to bound her in a marriage where she will never get the love she deserve. The person who is the reason that she was struggling between life and death should not be assigned her life time responsiblity right. Before I could comprehend any word. Nitya spoke , " Thank you for this favour uncle. But I can't take it. I am not an handicapped who will live as liability on Aarav. He have a separate life. I don't have any right to ruin his life ". My father said , " Beta , par hume koi taklif nahi hai. Tumhara rishta apne Aarav ke saath tay karne mein.Aur mujhe bhi nahi lagta ki Aarav ko bhi hogi tum itne saalo se jante ho ek dusre ko ".
Nitya said , " Wahi to uncle saalo se jante hai hum ek dusre ko janti hu ki kab uske mann mein kya chal raha hoga. Mujhe uske upper bojh ban ke nahi rehna ".My mother interrupted inbetween and said , " Tum koi bojh nahi ho ". Nitya said , " Agar mein kisi ke liye bojh nahi hu, to kisi ko ye hak bhi nahi ki meri zindagi ke faisle mere khilaf jaa kar kiye jaa sake. Ye mera final decision hai na to koi case hoga aur na hi meri shaadi ". Before her father was about to say anything she said , " Papa, please mujhse nahi ho raha ye sab. Mat karo mujhe aur force ". Everyone become silent there. Soon the nurse arrived there to ask us to leave as her situation is really vulnerable still.We left from there and I was stuck in my own chain of thoughts. I locked myself in my room for three days . I had nightmares about the horrible night she suffered. In every single dream I was not able to save her. I had heard somewhere it always comes in your dream whatever you think is left to done and same was happening with him. I didn't had the courage to face her back. I knew it very well if I again went near her , she will get upset and frustrated too which will ruin her health and my apology is not more important than her health. I was so consumed with my guilt that I forgot I am leaving her alone again when she needs me. I don't know why I am never fed up of my mistakes. The more I commit and the more I regret it. But even till today, I am not able to mark the beginning of it. I don't know how would she react on seeing me back. The bond which took years to strengthen was broken within a night.

Fifth day, I stepped out of my room. I entered the garden area. My mom was sitting at a bench there. I also went there and sat silently. She gently caressed my hair. I placed my head on her lap and said , " Mom, wo meri wajah se iss haalat mein hai. " Firstly she become little confused but when I told her entire story. A sigh of disappointment covered her face. Tears rolled down my eyes and I said , " Meri galti ki saza wo bhugat rahi hai mom. Agar mein us din uski calls utha leta to wo sab na hota jo ab ho gaya". She wiped my tears , " Beta meri side dekho, jo hua bahut galat hua. Ek aurat ho kar to mein bhi tumhari ye galti jaldi se maaf na kar pau. Par jo ab ho raha hai wo aur bhi galat hai. Tum usse fir se akela chod rahe ho jab usse tumhari jarurat hai ". I mumbled, " Par wo naraaz hai mujhse ".
She said , " Naraaz hai to jaakar manao usse, tum par wo cheekhein chillaye sab suno, thappad bhi mare to kha lo. Par haar na manna. Choti si galat fehmi umar bhar ki kamayi dosti ko khatam kar degi ".