Military Girlfriend

Chapter 38

Chapter 38:
     "Jay... Jay!" I yell as my vans hit the pavement with the wind blowing my long hair back.

"He's still in there, we've been trying to get in but can't. Please tell me you have a key?" A younger couple calls out to me as I fish my keys out from my pocket. I drop them once but hurry and retrieve them from the ground as I shove the key in the keyhole and hurry and turn the knob. I'm greeted with shattered pieces of glass everywhere.

"Jay?" I call wary as I round the corner and head into the kitchen. Again, I'm greeted with nothing. My anxiety starting to rise.

"Jay!" I take the stairs three at a time as I push through the bedroom door. When I see nothing once again, I'm about to leave. Until the soft gasp for air hit my ears.

I walk to the other side of the king size bed to see Jay hunched over as he hugs his knees. It's evident he's crying by how his shoulders shake with every breathe he draws in.

"Hey, talk to me. What happened baby?" The old nickname dances on my tongue as I pull him into me, his solid frame rocks into mine as I kiss his temple.

"I blacked out Shay, I thought I was back in war." He can barely get his words out as his body starts convulsing in a new wave of sobs.

"Honey it's ok, it's all over. You aren't there, you're here with me and I won't let anything happen to you Jay."

"But it was so real, and I just- I can't control it. Everything triggers it, the toaster popping, the garbage truck. When someone drops something loud."

"We will get you help baby, we will take you and see what we can do about it."

"I just feel like such a monster, what if I hurt you?"

"You won't, so don't talk like that."

"But Shay, that's always a possibility. I would never be able to forgive myself if I ever did."

"Don't start talking about stuff like that , you won't hurt me. I know you never intentionally would." I grabbed his hand in mine as I ran the pad of my thumb over his knuckles.

"You know I can't even return to duty. I found out today, medically I can't so I'm being discharged with honors. But to know I can't go back and serve with my brothers and sisters makes me sick. We're a family over there and I know I only had a little bit left until my term was over, but there was always the possibility that I could continue. So to know I have no say in this is eating me up inside."

Shocked by his words, I'm silenced for a bit. I didn't know he couldn't return because of his medical problems.

"Jay I'm so sorry, I really am. I didn't know."

"No one else knows yet except you, I'm sure my Aunt has an idea though. I mean I might not even ever regain full movement with my shooting hand, so it's obvious."

"I know, but what if you?"

"I don't know, I need to start looking for another job if I can't return."

"Well don't jump to conclusions just yet."

"Shay they sent me that letter, there is no going back."

"I don't know Jay, maybe you regain full movement you can."

"Can we just drop this please? My head is killing me."

"Sure, but just know I'm here if you need me. Also, I don't know why you didn't tell me you were taking pills for PTSD , and we won't discuss it right now but you need to go take them now while I start cleaning the broken glass."

"No I can do that baby."

"No , I got it. Please just go take it." I kiss his cheek softly with a smile as he helps me up and goes into his bathroom while I continue my way downstairs as I retrieve the broom behind the cabinet door.

Before he even comes downstairs I have swept all the glass up and warmed up some food for him. I set it on the table with a glass of cold water, he rounds the corner with a appreciative smile brightening his face.

"How you feeling?" I ask sipping on a Dr Pepper I found in the fridge.

"Head still hurts but I'll be ok, I'm sorry you had to leave work. I feel horrible."

"It's not a problem, just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Everything is ok , when I have you with me."

I can't help the smile that reaches fully across my face, and the blush that burns my cheeks.

"I'm glad you feel that way, will you be ok by yourself or would you like me to stay?"

"No, you're fine. I've had them before and I won't get them again since I took the pills. I'll probably take a shower and lay down until you get back."

"Are you sure, because I can stay?"

"I'll be here when you get off work." He stands up and walks me to the door as he leans in and kisses my forehead in the most gentle way, goosebumps litter my skin. I smile up at him as I start walking down the pathway.

"Hey Shay?" I turn around to face him as he's still leaning up against the doorframe.

"Thank you for everything, and if I haven't told you yet. You look beautiful, no wonder I'm still in love with you."