Military Girlfriend

Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

     The morning sun crawls through the cracks in the curtains, I watch some of the rays start to litter the bed with gold specks of light. I know by the way the light comes in that it is early, earlier then i've been up in awhile. I grab Jay's phone off the bedside table since I left mine in the car last night, and try not to wake him. I'm tempted to lean over and kiss his parted lips, but I decide against it. If he did have another nightmare and I didn't know about it again then he needs to sleep. With me hitting some random buttons on his phone, it finally lights up and I see that its about 6:00. I contemplate on getting up or not, but when I lay back down and the sun starts to shine in my eyes I get out and head to the shower.

   About an hour and a half later, I'm dressed in some white shorts, and a cute but light sweatshirt.  The sweatshirt is white at the top and then fades into a light grade which fades into a darker grey at the bottom. Then to top it all off, there are little studs on the pocket. I managed to straighten my hair and put on some make- up. When I come back into the room, Jay is still quiet and the house is even quieter, I heard the baby cry while I was doing my make-up but it looks like they all went back to bed again. I mentally groan, I wish someone would wake up. I hate when i'm the first one up in someone's house and I have sit awkwardly till I hear any sound of life start to move. I think i'm going more insane for the simple fact that I have Jay's nightmares on my mind, knowing I can't sit here a second longer I grab Jay's keys and head outside. I don't bother driving, I need to walk. So instead I grab my phone from the conceal and start heading in the direction of where I saw a McDonald's when we arrived.

    My feet crunch across the pavement, as the gravel gets stuck in the traction in my black vans. I admire this place, everything is so quiet and at peace, it all goes against the demons that are slamming against the walls in my head clawing and begging to be released. The McDonald's that comes into view, gives comfort as I order myself a coffee and a sausage Mcmuffin. I don't bother sitting down, instead I walk to the park and sit in the sun as I watch all swing-set sit quietly, knowing today kids will fill this place with dropped popsciles and feet racing to get to the swings.

As I finish off my coffee and breakfast I lay my back on the grass and I let the sun warm my face. It hurts to know Jay can bring up his nightmares in an ordinary conversation as easy as it is to talk about the weather, yet he hasn't mentioned this to me. In a couple months he will be out of the army and we will have been dating for a year. I realize in a relationship you learn something new about a person everyday, but at this point in our relationship I should be learning about the way he wipes down the counter every time he makes food, things that you learn about someone once you've been living with that person. Not something this big, not something that takes on such a psychological toll on someone.

There is a lot of things you have to take on when you deal with someone in the army, not getting letters as quickly as you want to, missing them more then you've ever missed anyone before, stressing to know that they made it thought another day safely, or bursting into tears when you finally hear their voice because you know they're ok. Yet when someone goes through a lot while serving, the aftermath of it once they're out can also be hard. The things they see that no one else knows about, the nightmares. I try my hardest to be open minded with Jay, because if you aren't then you can't really be with someone in the army. You got to be strong just like they are, maybe even stronger to deal with it all.

I just hope he will be willing to discuss this with me, i'll give him all the time he needs to get into deatil about the whole thing but there are some answers i'd like to know now. As I check the time I see that it's already ten and I have a few missed calls from Jay. I don't bother calling back, instead I look back at the still swing-set and head back to the house. My feet feel heavier with each step as I don't know when I should have this conversation, I know bringing up as we stay at someone's home is rude so i'll wait until were alone. I just hope the demons caged in my mind will stay locked away until that times come.

When I walk up to the house, Jay is standing outside shirtless as he walks down the stairs to me. I take in his body with each step, this is one of the perks of loving a military man.

"Hey, you ok? I woke up and you weren't there, I was getting really worried."

"Yea i'm ok, just went on a walk since I was up before everyone."

"Babe you should have woken me up I would have gone with you." He smiles as he kisses my forehead and leads me inside.

Everyone is sitting in their pjs besides me as some little kids show is set for background noise, Jay hands me a cup of coffee which I smile a take a sip.

I'm greeted hello by the rest of the family, before taking a seat next to Jay on the couch where he's eating breakfast. He offers me some, but I decline since I already just ate. I lay my head against the couch, and close my eyes. My head is pounding from over-thinking, until it hurts so bad I can't take it anymore.

"Hey do you guys have any Advil or something I can take for my headache?" I ask.

"Yea it's in the bathroom cabinet, want me to get it for you?" Josh ask as he's just about to give his son over to his wife.

"No thank you, I got it." I smile as I walk to the bathroom and grab the bottle, taking two out for myself. As i'm just about to head to the kitchen to grab some water Jay's phone starts ringing in the next room.

"Babe, your phones ringing." I yell.

"Alright answer it please, it's probably my parents they want to know when were seeing them." He calls back as I walk to the room and back over to the bedside table.

Yet when I look at his phone, I see that its a text message so I press view and allow my eyes to scan the text. Seconds later the wind is knocked out of me as the demons in my head are finally let out so fast that my eyes fill with tears. As I read the text over.

"Jay, thanks for meeting up with me. I'm so glad we got the chance to talk and go down memory lane. I hope us talking about your nightmares has helped you at least a little bit. Just know that i'm here for you no matter what, can't wait to see you again xoxo ~ Jade."