You Could Be My Sanity

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Sophie's POV

It was 3 AM and I couldn't fall back asleep. I was debating whether or not to wake Demi. I decided against it and lied into her. I just lied there staring at the ceiling. Well this sucks. I rolled out of bed quietly, trying not to wake Demi and walked into the living room.

I sat on the couch and Oliver ran up to me and jumped up and rested on my leg. I pet his head and turned on the TV. I saw that The Shining was on. I watched only a part of it before and I was scared shitless. I think it's a perfect time for a horror movie.

I started watching it and I was clutching onto a pillow curled into Oliver. Okay yeah this movie is terrifying. Especially when you're barely 13 watching it alone in a big house when your mother is asleep. Yes I called Demi my mother. I could get used to it. The movie was halfway through when I heard the door creak open. Okay now I'm terrified. I let go of Oliver and curled up into the couch. I heard footsteps coming towards me.

"Baby what are you doing up so late?!" Demi whispered screamed as if someone else was here.

"I couldn't sleep and I wanted to let you sleep so I just came down and started watching a movie." I said truthfully

"Next time wake me up okay? And The Shining was you're movie choice? One of the most scariest movies?" She asked amused

I shrugged my shoulders and walked up to her.

"What? Two weeks ago was my birthday? I'm old enough to watch it now. I'm no longer twelve Dem I'm thirteen." I said and she laughed and picked me up bridal style.

"Bed time." She said walking up the stairs into our room and placed me onto the bed. She put her arm around me and I curled up into her. This is how I always get the best sleep. Wrapped up in her arms. I eventually fell asleep.

'I woke up in a room full of mirrors. All I could see was myself. Then Jon and Todd walked in together and looked at me with devilish grins.

"We've been waiting for you Sophie." They said in unison. No not again. I screamed at the top of my lungs and tried to run away. I just kept running into mirrors. I had to get out.

"HELP ME!" I screamed. They came closer to me. I started kicking and screaming. Todd came and pinned me down as Jon came and stuffed a sock in my mouth as he got handcuffs and handcuffed me to a bed that just randomly appeared. I screamed at the top of my lungs but the sock muffled it and-'

I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. I started sobbing and Demi ran into the room and grabbed me. I sobbed into her chest. It was just a dream. I told myself

"It was just a nightmare baby. I'm right here. No ones gonna hurt you." Demi cooed rubbing my hair and kissing my forehead now and then. I calmed my breathing and dried my tears. I need to compose myself for the sake of Demi. All I wanted to do right now was cut. So I waited for Demi to leave the room to go make brunch and I sneaked into the bathroom. I searched for my blade and found it. I was two days clean but that's gonna change. I swiped it across my wrist three times before running over to the sink to wash off the blood. It was still faintly bleeding but I pulled down my long sleeved shirt. I walked out of the bathroom and went down to the kitchen. Demi made me a banana Nutella sandwich, my favorite. I sat down and ate half of it. Yeah my eating is better but I do purge every night after dinner. That's it though. Demi was staring at my arm and I wondered why. I looked at my blue sleeve and saw a blood stain. Shit.

"Please tell me that's water and not what I think it is." She said

"It-it's water." I lied looking down. She didn't buy it.

"Show me your wrist." She said. I handed over my wrist that I didn't cut. She looked at me unconvinced.

"Your other one please." She said. I reluctantly handed over my wrist. There go my razors. She gasped and looked up at me

"Why? Why did you do it so deep? Why didn't you come and talk to me?" She asked. I looked down at my feet and just teared up. She pulled me into a hug.

"Babe I think it's time for you to give me your blades." She said. What!? No I can't do that. I just can't. What if I need a quick release.

"Please." I cried and she hugged me tighter.

"I'm just trying you help you babe." She said walking up to the bathroom with me. I found my stash of bloodied razors and reluctantly handed them over to her.

"You have over 30 razors!" She said sounding surprised. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. She was taking my only stress relievers. She looked at me and knelt down.

"Recovery isn't easy. But it's worth it." She said repeating herself. I nodded and hugged her neck since she was kneeling down. She picked me up and brought me into the kitchen. It was time for an intervention.

"Okay why did you cut instead of coming to me baby girl?" She asked rubbing her thumb on my cheek.

"I was scared." I said quietly. She started singing Nightingale to me and held my face in her hands.

"We can get through this." She said looking me in the eyes and smiling faintly.