At last | Editing

Chapter 7

*Edited

It was never easy trying to deny my feelings for Christian. He was my first everything.

I thought that I and Christian were going to be together forever. We talked about kids. We talked about marriage. We even talked about our Afterlife.

He was my everything. Everything was going so good until it wasn't. Thanks to him.

He was so focused on looking like a cool guy who "Gets all the females" to his "friends"  he recorded us having sex without my permission. He took my virginity and toyed with around like a winning prize. 

I should hate him. 

And in my mind, I do hate him but my heart is still with Christian.

We had sex and our souls are attached.

Damn.

I rolled in the back of the ambulance truck with Christian holding his hand and speaking to him encouraging words.

I puckered my lips out bending down stopping inches away from his mouth remembering that this is a no-no and I hate him.

I pull away from him and turn my head the opposite way.

The paramedic who sat in the back looked at me and smiled softly but he didn't say anything.

I checked my phone to see that I had about twenty missed calls and ten text messages from Amari and Kayleigh but mostly from Amari.

They were mostly text messages saying:

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I never meant for any of this to happen. I hope there's still me and you after this.

There was even me and him anyway. And any chance of it being me and him are out of the window. He's a fucking maniac with a temper. If he lost it on Christian, he will lose it on anyone who even looks my way.

I'm supposed to be keeping a low profile, not getting myself into situations that could have me risk things that most people can't know about me.

"Is this your boyfriend?" The paramedic asked causing me to look up from my phone.

"No." I shook my head. "Ex-boyfriend."

"For how long?"

"A couple of months now. I guess."

"Why did you two break up?"

"Really?" I glared at her getting annoyed with her third-degree questions.

"Sorry." she threw her hands up in surrender. "I'm just trying to make conversation here."

"Making conversation would be saying something like "Hey. How was your day?" Or 'I love your outfit where'd you get it!" not "Did you two break up because he was an abusive dick who didn't deserve you? But you were too dumb and too I love to see the red signs that were right in front of you.' Like I know okay! I know I shouldn't still love him but I do. It takes time to un-love someone if that's even a word."

"I mean he loves me back too. Or this fake version of me. He doesn't even know me. I'm a spy. I fight crime to defeat the bad guy and sometimes I have to murder some of them. I mean what is so attractive about someone who murders other people. I don't even think it matters that I don't want to be a spy because I'm still doing it. And what does that say about me? It says that I'm a hypocrite because I hate liars. Yes, I lie to protect people from bad people but a lie is a lie and it always comes back to bite you in the ASS!"

I breathe heavily once I was finally done letting everything in that I was holding back.

But I realized the paramedics were looking at me crazy and confused.

I facepalmed realizing that I just told her everything I wasn't supposed to.

"Um, do you have any medicine back here that'll make you forget the last 24 hours of your day?"

She didn't speak. I don't think she could.

She just nodded her head no.

"Well, in that case, I guess I just have to go with option B."

I lifted my leg taking it across her face and then I threw her a hard jab to the face. She flew back in her chair knocked out cold.

A few moments later, we stopped and the other EMT came to let us out the back.

"What happened to my partner?"

"I don't know." I lied. "One minute she was wide awake talking and then she just dozed off."

"Yeah, she does that a lot." He said.

I sat up there at the hospital with Christian until I knew for sure he was okay.