At last | Editing

Chapter 14

I ruined things with Amarillo. He probably hates me now. I hate me now. Amarillo is a good genuine person, and I ruined it because my crazy ass ex is in town and has me shaken up. When am I going to learn that all men aren't the same? There are some dick heads out here. There are some confused dick heads out here. There are the boys that love you in private but ignore you in public. There are the boys who want the best of both worlds. And then there are the boys like Amarillo, genuine, real, kind, gorgeous, invested in one female and one female only but boys like this turn into boys like Christian because they come in contact with girls like me. Ugh!

I tried to keep quiet and not wake Kayleigh up with my tears, but I couldn't help it. I was so stupid for ruining things with a boy who has all the features I've been looking for.

Lay with my back turned towards Kayleigh, facing the window in her room. My hands over my mouth, along with the blanket and I squeeze my eyes shut and I just cry, I sniffle, I sob.  Each time I replay the events of tonight over in my head, it gets louder and louder.

Kayleigh sits up in the bed she calls my name but I ignore her, hoping that she'll just lay back down and doze back off, but she wasn't.

She leans rest her head on my shoulder.

"I can hear you crying and sobbing over here. I know you're not sleeping," she says.

I sniffle. "Just go back to sleep. I don't want to talk about it." I lie.

Kayleigh didn't budge all she said was "Okay." She laid her head back on her pillow.

I sigh and sit up in bed. "Okay. Okay. I lied. I want to talk about it."

"Of course, you do." she teases and switches the light on her lamp.

We both then sit up in her bed facing each other.

"How was the date? I thought you two were hitting it off."

"No, we were. We are." I assure but speaking within a sad tone.

"Why do you sound so sad? A..." I couldn't hold my tears in any longer.

"Oh, no. W-why are you crying?" she asks and pulls me into a hug.

I open my mouth, wanting to speak but more tears just come out as I continued to rest my head on her chest. I am getting her shirt soaking wet with my tears. I can tell she's annoyed by that when she feels the wet spot sinking through her shirt and drowning into her skin, but she never lets me go.

"Because of I...I messed up. Bad!" I finally found the words. "Everything was going so good. I opened up to him about my past, but things turned sideways and I immediately built this while up between us." I continue to rest my head in her arms.

I knew that in order for Kayleigh to comfort me and give me the advice that I need and want so desperately at this point, I was going to have to tell her about the past that I am running from.

"Do remember that boy from the other day at the restaurant?" I ask, wiping my eyes and pulling away.

"The hot one light-skinned boy?" She asked while raising her eyebrows. "How can I not remember that gorgeous hunk of a man?"

She begins to drift off into her own little world.
"Gosh. I would love to taste a piece of that vanilla swirl." She says licking her lips.

We! My stomach turns to hear those words coming from her mouth about Christian, but how can I be grossed out when I thought the exact same thing when I first saw him.

"That's the same thing I thought about him too." I purse my lips up and out, nodding my head up and down. "I thought I was the queen who finally found her king. I thought we'll live happily ever after. Until he proved me wrong and proved my father right." I look down at the floor, disappointed in the silly and naive girl I once were.