•Chapter 11•

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Elara Beck
"Aggie I need to talk to you." I croaked and knocked on her door.
It had been an hour since I came back from the doctors and had told Finn I needed to go and lie down. But I needed to tell someone. I couldn't tell Finn and I couldn't tell mum. Not yet anyways. But I could count on Agnes.

She opened the door and ushered me in. I sat down beside her on the bed and burst into tears. She immediately hugged me tight and I rested my head on her chest. She didn't ask any questions and just let me cry.
I cried for a good few minutes before Agnes pushed my chin up.
"Come on now. Calm down. Tell me what happened." She said and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
"Aggie I'm pregnant." I sighed and she held my shoulders as she looked at me with wide eyes. I nodded at her and she sighed.
"How did this happen?"
"Aggie I'm about eight weeks..." I said trying to hint at her but she just shrugged and nodded slowly. I raised and eyebrow but still she didn't seem to understand my hints.
"Agnes It's Shawn's." I said and finally the penny dropped.
"Holy fucking shit. What are you going to do?!" She yelled and I sighed.
"I'm going to talk to Mum."
"Are you going to keep it?"
"I want to it's just whether I can."

I had rung mum and asked her to meet me in a coffee shop. I thought that if we were in public, she couldn't cause as much fuss or scream as much at me.
I arrived first and ordered two coffees with shaking hands. I sat at a table in a quiet corner so I could explain to her what had happened without any prying ears.
I watched mum walking in, and my heart raced so fast I thought I would throw up there and then. She spotted me and smiled. She won't be smiling in a minute.
She kissed the top of my head before sitting down opposite me.
"How are you doing? You sounded a bit shaky on the phone." Mum said pushing her hair out of her face and back behind her shoulders.
"Mum I can't sugarcoat it. Something, has happened, or is happening and I don't know what to do." I said, tears already pooling in my tired eyes.
"Ok. Whatever it is we can deal with it ok? I promise not to overreact." She said, taking my hand in hers and sitting up straighter in her chair.
"Mum I'm pregnant." I said and she opened her mouth for a split second before closing it again quickly.
"H-how did this happen?" She whispered not looking at me.
"Around eight weeks ago, I told you I was staying with Agnes for a week. I lied to you. There was a boy in a bar. We hit it off and I spent the week with him."
I said wiping my tears away.

"Who was it? Does he know? Is he going to contribute?"She asked and I shook my head.
"He doesn't know."
"Elara, who was it?"
"It was Shawn Mendes." I sighed and put my head in my hands.
Mum coughed as she choked on the sip of coffee she had just swallowed.
"Elara Beck are you telling me you're pregnant with some pop stars baby?! Did I not teach you anything?!" Mum said loudly and I put my finger to my lips.
"Please, please Mum. I don't know what to do." I cried and her face turned softer.
"For gods sake. Right. The question is do you keep it or not?" She asked and I bit my lip.
"I don't want to go through the process of aborting the baby. I-I think I want to keep it." I said and wiped away the last of my tears.
"That's your decision and of course I'll support you. But this is your child. Not mine. You'll have to talk to the university about all the arrangements ok?" She said and took hold of my hands again. "You're so young. And I think you're probably insane for keeping it. But I understand and you can do this if you truly want to."
"I know I'm insane."
"I can't believe you slept with Shawn Mendes Elara and didn't tell me. Did you not use protection?" She asked and my cheeks flushed pink.
"I Erm, can't remember."
"Well, it's done now isn't it." She sighed. "But I don't have the money to support you two forever. You're going to have to somehow get in touch with Shawn and tell him. Or, you do it alone."

The idea of having to tell Shawn that I was pregnant made me feel faint.
I had no idea how I was going to get hold of him for long enough to tell him.
Part of me didn't want to tell him. Part of me just wanted to keep this to myself and deal with it on my own.
But I needed his help.

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