•Chapter 22•

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Elara Beck
I was sat in shock.
I hadn't even considered that this would be the conversation we'd be having. I had expected this to come later on.
But it was happening now and I had to deal with it now.
I pulled out my phone trying to swallow down the tears and anxiety that was building in my throat.
"Hey." I sighed.
"Hey. Is everything ok?" Finn asked and I let a few silent tears fall.
"Yeah. Erm. No." I said.
"What's happened? Is Frances ok?"
"She's fine. It's Shawn that's not ok." I sniffed.
"What's happened Beck?"
"He's made up this room for us, and bought all baby equipment, and clothes and toys for Frances. But we were talking and he's got really upset that we're together and that you're more of a father to Frances than he is. It's broken him Finn and I don't know what to do." I cried and I heard him sigh and I could picture him pushing his hair back.
"I can't tell you what to do. You have to do what feels right." He said and I pushed away my tears.
"I know."
"I care for you both so much Beck but I know that he's her father. And you have to let him. And if we have to break up-"
"No! No that's not what I want."
"Maybe it's what needs to happen."
"No. Finn no. I'll let him be her father but I love you." I cried and I heard him sigh again.
"We'll see how this weekend goes and when you get back we can talk properly ok? Don't worry about it this weekend."
"Ok. I love you."
"I love you too Beck."

I wiped away my tears and walked up to where Frances was still asleep in her pristine white cot. For a baby she slept extremely well.
"Come here." I said and picked her up, holding her close to my chest. She whined and wriggled around, her face contorting into what was about to be a strop, but I ran my finger down her nose just like Shawn had done and she calmed down.
I carried her to Shawn's room and gently pushed open the door.
He was lying on his bed with his back to me. I sighed quietly and walked over to his bed that we shared months ago.
He opened his eyes and I could see that they were blood shot. I said nothing and just gently placed Frances down next to him before sliding on the bed myself, the three of us lying on the bed, close together.
Shawn reached his arm over and began to stroke my hair, the other wrapped around Frances. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply for a moment. That was until I heard Frances gurgling and bubbles coming from her mouth and both Shawn and I began laughing at her.

"Whatever you want I'll do Elara. It's all your decision." Shawn whispered and I nodded.
"I just want whatever's best for her. That's all I want." I whispered back.
"Do you want me around?" He asked and I looked directly into his eyes and my heart missed a beat, just as it did when we first met.
"Of course I want you around. Your her father Shawn. I want her to have her father around." I said and cupped his face in my hand.
"Then I'll be here. I'll release a statement tomorrow about it and I promise I'll be focused entirely on you two for as long as I can." He said and I smiled.
"What about your music? And tour?"
"Elara, being here, being a father to Frances is what I want. That's so much more important to me now than music." He said and I felt his fingers interlock with mine.

I felt safe.
I felt calm and relaxed.
I didn't want to move.
"Can we talk about her name?" Shawn said and I sat up suddenly.
"No. Her name is her name." I said and he sat up, putting Frances in her lap.
"No no! Her middle name!" He said and I sighed with relief.
"Ok. What do you want it to be?" I asked and he shrugged.
"I don't know." He smiled and I rolled my eyes. "Why did you name her Frances?" He asked and I felt the heat run to my cheeks.
"I've always liked the name. I had loads in mind. And, erm, do you remember, the night that we first Erm, yeah, after we did it, we watched 'Dirty Dancing'. And well I thought it would be funny I guess to name her Frances after the character in the film that we watched after we made her." I explained and as soon as I finished he burst out laughing, tears streaming from his eyes.
"Are you fucking serious?" He snorted.
"Stop." I said and covered my face with my hands. It was hilarious but now he knew I was embarrassed. I felt his hands on mine and i removed them from my face.
"I think it's brilliant." He said and I sighed with relief.
"I thought it would be funny." I smiled and he nodded.
"It's a good story to tell her. Shell find it funny when she's older." He said and I smiled. I bit my lip and Shawn unexpectedly leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek.
"I missed you." He whispered.
"I missed you too"

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