INTOXICATED | billie eilish

Part 13

So here I am. Packing. My life isn't even mine anymore. I just wish I could be pulled out of this train wreck.

Another box done, another thought of Billie, another box done, another thought of Billie is how I spent the past 5 hours. I'm now on the last box and I come across a picture of me and Billie from when we were kids. I stroke Billie's face only wishing it could be her in person. I smile to myself as I start to remember what had happened when this photo was taken.

......flashback......

"Chubby bunny" Billie mumbled as she scoffed another marshmallow into her mouth, this time not swallowing.

"Chubby bunny" I copied her. This weren't normal marshmallows either, we were camping with both our families so we brought these massive s'more making marshmallows.

"Chmub" She paused "cmhum bwuny" Billie struggled.

I go to put another marshmallow in my mouth laughing as Billie dribbles out of her mouth. "Chub- AHHHHH" I screamed as a spider crawls on my leg.

Billie couldn't hold back her laugh and chewed bits of marshmallow comes flying out her mouth going all over me. I start dying of laughter not bothered by what's all over me. All of a sudden Billie laughs to hard and falls off the log which only makes us laugh even more.

"Bil- oh my, I can't" i struggle in between laughs "i can't breathe" I watch Billie struggle to get up as her legs are still in the air. I don't even notice my parents snapping a photo with their camera.

.........

I don't even remember when I started to cry. I guess the memory, or Billie really just brought me tears. I laugh to myself "Chubby bunny" and go to put the photo in the box.

"Van outside you better of finished packing"

I groaned realising this is actually happening. "Yeah all done"

"Hurry the fuck up then"

I quickly run to put all the boxes in the van, I don't really fancy getting hit today you know? Up and down the elevator I went. It doesn't take long before I'm carrying the last box. I take a moment to remember the details of this now empty apartment. The one that had been my home for just over 2 years. Billie helped me move in, she helped me pick it out and she even offered to stay the first night to make sure I settled in alright.

"Time for a new beginning baby" Alex wrapped her gritty fingers around me.

"Yeah can't wait" I forced a fake smile and she kissed me.

"Baby I need to tell you something" fuck I thought she's going to kill me. "I love you so much I promise as soon as we are in our new place I will change" she smiled "And to prove it to you here's your phone, I realised you're grown up so I trust you"

I stood there in shock. "I'm more of a pinky promise girl" I laughed "But thank you Alex, I love you too" I leaned in for a kiss. Yes I do hate myself for doing it but ah let's give her another chance.

It's not long before we are on the road to wherever the fuck this new place is. Alex hates having the radio on because she thinks all she's going to here is Billie's new songs. Guess one thing isn't going to change about her. We pull up to get some more petrol for the van.

That's when I remember I have my phone. I quickly go to see the latest news because why the fuck not. I almost regret doing it as i'm flooded with Billie.

Billie Eilish breaks down yet again on stage performing 'I love you'

Billie Eilish looses best friend?

Billie Eilish crying on stage.

Billie Eilish's best friend Stella caught leaving Billie's house after what could be an argument.

I couldn't handle reading the rest. Luckily Alex came back meaning I couldn't look at Billie related stuff anyway. I thought she would be okay with this, wait no what the fuck of course she wouldn't be okay I'm her best friend she loves me and I love her. She's hurting because of me, if only I listened to her and didn't get back with Alex. All I had to do was listen it's all my fault.

The rest of the journey my mind was running in circles. Billie Billie Billie was all I could think about and next thing you know I'm being shouted at again by Alex because I'm not unpacking quick enough.

So here I am. Unpacking. My life isn't even mine anymore. I just wish I could be pulled out of this train wreck.

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Hey guys sorry for the late upload ngl i'm finding it hard to get back into writing but i'm trying my best don't worry bc i have something big planned for this book. not that anyone cares but yesterday i got my gcse results (you'll know if ur from the uk) and i passed them!! and today my blohsh necklace came!!! broooo i'm so happy :)