Tainted Love (bxb)

Chapter 8 - Hate is a strong word

I couldn't help it. I wanted to look away and focus on my friends again, but I just kept staring at him. Or better yet, glare at Sawyer, who had his arm around Rileys waist, eating his food and laughing with him. I was being too obvious, I knew that much, but still, my eyes were glued to the source of that sweet sweet scent, that sent me right into heaven, but Sawyer was blocking my way. And so many other things beside him, but right now, my focus was set on him. It was really hard not to hate him, when his hand soothingly touched my mates back, making my blood boil, even though my brain knew, that he was just doing what he had been doing for two years now. 

"Ash, stop growling at him" Cecilia warned, nudging me in the side and getting me out of my Riley-trance momentarily. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut, as I tried to get my emotions under control. It was really hard to keep Dixon at bay, when we were so close to our mate, since all he wanted to do, was claim him and I truthfully did too, but was a little less driven by the mating bond. "Sorry...I-shit" I cursed, pinching the bridge of my nose, as I caught my thoughts wandering towards my mate again. 

"I-Its ok...its t-the mating b-bond" Lynton said, offering some words of comfort. After he had given me that kind of useful advice, I basically adopted him to our friend group, since he was always alone in school and no wolf of my pack should ever feel that lonely. He was a good guy and so far a better omega, than I had witnessed before, so he definitely deserved a seat at out table and Pax and Cecilia didn't mind at all. They actually liked Lynton and how he always had something sweet or kind to say. That had never been us, but hearing some comforting words once in a while didn't hurt at all. I had let him in on Riley being my mate a few days prior and he had been really supportive, just like my best friends. 

"Yeah, we get it. You want to be with him but can't. It sucks man and you are allowed to be frustrated, especially seeing him with that mutt, but at least try to not raise attention from the humans" Pax said, once again sounding wiser than ever before. Since he had taken the title of Beta, he had proceeded to become...well I don't want to say smarter, but strategic, logical and overall a little clearer in his head. I liked that, not only for him being my Beta, but just for himself. If this mating nonsense was always this difficult, Pax could use it once he had found his mate. 

Cecilias and Pax birthday was two days ago and they hadn't found their mate yet. Cecilia was relieved, since she didn't really want to find them right now, but Pax seemed disappointed. He said, even though my case hadn't been the best so far, he still wanted to look at somebody like I looked at Riley. I could understand where he was coming from, but right now, staring at Riley snuggling into Sawyers embrace and my wolf howling out in pain and anger, I didn't wish this on anybody.

"Yeah...its just really hard when he's...with him" I sighed, nudging my head towards the two as Sawyer leaned in and pressed a kiss on Rileys lips, who giggled, returning it. That sight alone made my heart clenched and my stomach hurt. I tried to look away and spear myself the heartbreak, but I physically couldn't. 

"Shit...I'm sorry man" Pax said, looking concerned, since he knew that this was putting me in very much pain. All I could do was nod and try not to show how much it truly hurt to see them like this...Gosh, I wanted to sit there. I wanted to inhale his scent, touch his skin, kiss his lips...that was a thought that kind of freaked me out, yet I couldn't deny that it was a thought that I had...every day actually. I wanted to kiss Riley...I blamed it on the mating bond, that told me to claim my mate already, but truthfully, I didn't know if that was entirely true. 

"But please Sawyer, I really really want one some day!" Riley pleaded, looking at his boyfriend. Yes, I had learned his language. Not only to spy on him, no, I truly wanted to have a better way of communicating and this was the only way Riley could truly speak on his own, so I stayed up the past three days, learning sign language, so I could one day talk to my mate...hopefully. Sawyer pressed his lips together, sighing as he obviously couldn't say no to Riley, but really wanted to.