Tainted Love (bxb)

Chapter 28 - Take me as I am

I tried my very best to explain everything to Riley and when I was finished, the sun was just rising. I left nothing out, except for the existence of mates. Because even if I wouldn't mention that he was mine, he would most definitely ask if I had found them yet and either way, if I would say no or yes, both ways it would mean that it wasn't him and that could strain our bond. But I told him everything else. From the existence of witches and other supernatural creatures, over the fact that we had an inner wolf, mine being Dixon, who was so incredibly anxious about our mate fining out about this, but he was pretty cool with it all, I mean there were weirder parts about my species. And finally, I told him all about my pack. 

That was where we were at right now, me trying to explain my pack to him and Riley listened, not tired not nervous anymore, he truly wanted to learn this. "I can't sugarcoat this, my pack isn't good...There are werewolf packs who just want to live in peace, no war no hate between us as we just try to survive in this human dominated world. But mine isn't like that...I guess you could compare us to the human mafia" I confessed hesitantly and Riley frowned, but he didn't seem freaked out. 

"Like...you take from people and torment them?" he asked carefully, as if he was afraid to get something wrong. But I was more afraid that at least now he would leave. He had stayed this far, but this part was the one that could really drive him away and I wouldn't even blame him for it. 

"Kind of...My pack is very powerful, has always been, even before my father or my grandfather, it was one of the strongest ones here. It originated from Italy and finally settled in this town. They could have used that power for good, but instead, they wanted money and influence. There are many packs under our control. They pay us good money, so we don't hurt them and if they need a favor, we grant it to them. But if they rebel....we kill them. I hate it, I hate nothing more than that and you are the first one to have ever heard me say that" I said, gulping, but Riley was still sitting there so I had the courage to continue. 

"I try to spear as many people as possible, but my pack is used to this. They have seen it with the former alphas and want to see it again. They like being at the top. I wanted it to change a long time ago, but if my pack would find about that, they would strip me of my title and exile me. It is always hard for a wolf out there alone and I would probably survive longer than any other ones from my pack, but I would still eventually die. I could either try and live in the human world, but I would risk running into another pack's territory, who would smell my werewolf scent and take me in as their slave. And yes, it is as awful as it sounds. We don't have any by the way, not even my father wanted that, but even some of the good packs like to keep some free werwolves for...pleasure" I said, cracking my knuckles at the mere thought of that happening. 

"And if that wouldn't happen, hunters would find me and kill me. The other and better option is to try and survive alone in the woods. But if I would loose control of my wolf, I could go feral or a pack of rogues could find me, killing me in a heartbeat. I am strong, but still just one person while I would have to face a whole pack. I would not survive that. So I have to stay and even though I have the power over my pack, I can't turn them against me without risking my own life and they would just find another alpha to continue their ways and maybe even get worse...I don't want that" I said and Riley looked at me intently and all I could think was, why wasn't he leaving? 

Why wasn't he just standing up, saying he wanted nothing to do with that? It would be what I would do, but Riley stayed. He didn't even look scared, more concerned as if he understood what my chaotic words really meant. That I was scared. Because I was. I was scared of him leaving. I was scared of my pack leaving. I was scared and he did not judge me for that, he rather listened, trying to understand the situation enough to offer his advice, even though there was no way out of this situation.