Tainted Love (bxb)

Chapter 14 - Love Island

I just kept walking, not looking back once. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. I just had to get out of there and away from this pain...away from him. Away from my mate, that had most definitely just rejected me....even if he hadn't said those words specifically, I knew what he meant. The words weren't available to him to actually reject me, but trying to punch me in the face brought the message across clear as day. I didn't even care if the teachers would finally come and he would get in trouble, because I was too busy not just giving in...giving into the pain.

It started in the center of my heart as a stinging pain, taking my breath away. It was different from the distance pain I had felt with Riley at the beginning. Because that pain only made me desirer him, wanting to be near him. It hurt to be away from him and now, it hurt to be close to him. It was like I could hear my heart shatter into a million pieces each time Riley had tried to punch me, with every glare he threw my way or sign that told me, how much he wants to hurt me. But the worst part wasn't even when he had done all of that. 

The worst thing was, when he wanted me to fight back. When he wanted me to resist, to hurt him and I-I couldn't...I could never do that! He knew, he knew that I couldn't and wouldn't, hurting me only more along the way. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry as I left the school, pacing outside and away from my mate, his intoxicating scent only sending me deeper into my pool of emotions. I gripped my chest, trying to stop the pain, that spread through my chest and body, pulling me in. How could I go from this? How should I survive this??  Wolves could survive their mate rejecting them, but with Riley...it truly felt like I couldn't. Maybe our bond....that was now broken, used to be stronger, since I couldn't even stay away from him for the first few days without feeling pain. 

My legs were heavy as they carried me away and I wasn't even aware of where I was going, as tears clouded my vision. It hurt- I-I had lost him and I didn't even know why or how! He rejected me... I was nothing, I was worthless, my own mate hated me so much he wanted to fight me. Couldn't I just die and get away from this misery? Goddess, why did you give me a mate as amazing as Riley, just to let him break my heart and soul? Did I ever do something to deserve this? Yes, plenty of times...I was a monster, I deserved nothing but pain. But still- Riley rejected me. Dixon howled in pain, feeling even more broken than I was.

"Asher!" I heard Pax call from afar, but I just stumbled ahead, trying to get away, away from it all, from the emotions, from Riley- "Ash!" Cecilia yelled, but each word that came from their mouths just bounced off my broken shell, as I kept pacing ahead, trying not to let my knees give out under, letting me fall to the ground and curl up into a ball of misery, letting the tears fall. I was just about to shift, trying to run even faster, when a soft hand got ahold of my shoulder, turning me around. 

"Asher" Lynton called softly, his hand remaining on my shoulder and somehow, that just broke me. I felt it all crashing down even more, if that was even possible, as I let a single tear roll down my cheek, looking at the omega, whose eyes held so much worry, so much fear for what his alpha was experiencing. Sure they were afraid, since they knew this could potentially kill me. A wolf getting rejected was one of the worst things that could happen to us, even worse than losing your pack. 

"H-He rejected me! He rejected me!" I repeated, choking on my own words. I was lost, I had lost myself in there alongside with Riley. He didn't want me, so I had no purpose in life...Dixons howling grew quieter as the pain became too much and he retreated into the back of my mind, cowered together, just like I wanted to do now. Lynton's worried eyes only grew at that, as Pax and Cecilia caught up with us, but I didn't care about them. I didn't care about my pack, if I lived or died in that moment. He rejected me, he rejected me, he rejected me...that was the only thing I could think about. 

"No! Asher he d-didn't reject you! He didn't- just breath" Lynton instructed, when he saw how fast and heavy my chest was heaving up and down, but still not pumping any oxygen into my lungs. I wanted to breath, but couldn't, and so Lynton gently helped me sit on the ground, because my legs were about to give out anyway. He kneeled in front of me, keeping his hand on my shoulder and trying to show me how to breath properly, but it felt impossible. Cecilia and Pax, now arriving next to us, immediately fell to their knees, not only concerned about the safety of their alpha but their friend.