Superfamily One Shots

Getting To Remember You

**Request for ReadingandChillin where Bucky returns home with his memories intact, and he and Natasha have a heart-to-heart. I really enjoyed this one, I never really focus on these two's relationship because I feel like I don't know enough of their voice, but it deserves to be written about way more, so thank you for requesting this! For reference, I am blending the movie plots and the comics - you don't have to have read the original comics to figure this one out bc I think I put enough background and filler in there, but the 'civil war' plot is a little fudged. Enjoy!!**

At first, there were only flashes of memories. Just the feeling of knowing something, like holding a pencil in the wrong hand. You remembered the feeling of your hand moving, but you couldn't make the pencil work the way you knew it was supposed to.

Those feelings were the only thing grounding Bucky when he was breaking from HYDRA's control.

When he strong enough to pull himself out of the mind control, the feelings became something more. They became images. Stories. Thoughts. The first ones to come back were the earliest memories. Stevie with gangly arms and a gap-toothed smile. Telling his mom about the draft.

And then he was running. He met up with Steve. The memories got stronger.

It was like watching a movie in his own mind of someone else's life. He saw it all so clearly, but none of it was him. Not anymore. When he was free - really free and really away from HYDRA and able to really recover - he realized that. He was never going to be that kid from Brooklyn who stood up to bullies and played hoops and got scolded by his mother ever again. He'd lost too much innocence.

Then the other memories came back. The ones about the time he spent in HYDRA's control.

Cold steel. Cold air.

Guns.

Ice.

Его маленький паук.

There was that same feeling, like he was remembering something, but not really. Like he was trying to write his name with his left hand rather than his right. He remembered her well, in full color, but he didn't feel the pull. It wasn't until he dreamed of her that he really remembered.

He woke up with her perfume in his nose again.

"We're going somewhere," Steve said one morning, pulling his clothes from a trashed dresser and shoving them into a duffle bag. "I have some friends who can help us."

Bucky raised his eyebrow in an expression he'd been told he made a million times as a kid. "Help us? Stevie, we're wanted in every continent."

"And these guys are willing to help us out. We have a temporary visa to get back to America. We're going to get you the help you need, Buck."

Bucky didn't buy that for a second, but then again, it'd be nice to take a shower. Maybe they'd let him take a shower before he had to go to jail. Did they let murderers take showers in prison? Bucky actually didn't know.

Nonetheless, Steve and Bucky packed the few things they had with them and headed out. There was a jet waiting for them. Steve tried to distract Bucky so he wouldn't look at it too closely, but once a trained super spy, always a trained super spy. There was bright blue lettering across one of the wings and the side of the plane. Stark Industries. This was a Stark plane, as in a Tony Stark plane. As in Howard's son. Bucky didn't know how to feel about Tony helping them, so he just settled into the familiar feeling of guilt and anger. Leave it to Stevie to force someone who had been victimized by Bucky's actions first-hand to help them.

They landed in New York and the guilt and anger wasn't any better. If anything, it was worse.

Stark Tower, though, was just beautiful enough to knock Bucky out of his bad mood. It was beautiful and bright and more delicate than anything Bucky had ever seen. It didn't look like it should be standing - the glass was far too thin and the steel was far too polished to hold up this kind of weight.

Steve was confident as he led Bucky through the lobby. Bucky caught his arm.

"We should wait for someone to take us upstairs, Steve."

"It's fine," Steve said, waving a hand. "I know where we're going. I used to live here, remember?"

Bucky didn't, but that didn't matter. Steve and him headed over to the elevators and next thing Bucky knew, they were hundred's of feet above New York.

"You're here." Bucky turned, noticing Tony Stark had been the one to talk. He was standing next to Nick Fury, and a few others Bucky didn't recognize.

"Hey, everyone. Thank you for being here, and for inviting us to be here as well. We should start with introductions." Steve steered Bucky around to the others in the room. "Buck, this is Clint, Sam, Rhodey, Pepper, Wanda, Vision, Thor, and-"

Bucky didn't know he was moving until he was cupping a hand around her cheek. "Natalia?"

"James? I didn't think... When they said..." Natasha let out a soft laugh. "They said you didn't remember anything! I can see the ice was a really big threat now that you seem totally fine!" Natasha was just joking, but the others in the room all flinched.

"I remember you. I remember your room," Bucky let his metal arm slide around Natasha's waist, hoping she wouldn't shiver against it. "I remember everything."

"I'm sure there's some things you don't remember," Natasha said lowly. "And there's plenty of missed time to make up for. I have to tell you so much."

Before Bucky could continue, Steve coughed pointedly. "What- uh, what's this? You two know each other?"

Natasha bit her lip to hold back a smirk. "You could say that. James here trained me in the Red Room."

Clint's eyes widened. "This is James? Your 'soft, gentle James' was the Winter Soldier?"

"Soft, gentle James?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's exactly how I describe Pepper. Was there some undercover hanky-panky in the big, bad, evil Red Room?"

Bucky laughed as Natasha went pink in the cheeks. "I like the red hair," he said suddenly. "You really leaned into the whole spider thing, then?"

"Yeah, it was the only way I could keep you with me. After they took you again, I mean."

"I never wanted them to do that," Bucky said hurriedly. "I tried to deny everything, even if I never got to see you again, I was terrified they'd hurt you. You have to know that. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Leaving hurt me," Natasha admitted. "But I knew you were alive and that was... that was everything I needed. I knew I'd find you again."

Bucky pulled her closer and kissed her softly, their mouths slotting together in a practiced and easy movement, like they'd done this yesterday. Like there was nothing between them - no years of separation, no bloody bodies, no governmental pardons. When they pulled away, Bucky got a lungful of Natasha's perfume again.

This time, it wasn't a memory.