Epilogue

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FIRST PERSON POV:

"Stop it Jungkook" I said in a groggy voice as I felt the tingling sensation again. It was Sunday and I really needed to sleep. But he wouldn't budge.

"Let me sleep please..." I whined again but he wasn't stopping. I could hear Jimin chuckling and it annoyed me even more how he was letting Jungkook have his way.

"I told him to stop but you know how stubborn he is" I heard Jimin's voice, and opened an eye to see him with his arms crossed and smiling in the door way. His hair was a mess but he still looked so good. Was it legal to look that good so early in the morning?

"Okay, let me just get my hands on you" I sat up and heard Jungkook's cute laughter ring all over in our room as he stood up and was about to run away but I held his waist and hugged him tight, tickling him.

"Mommy!" he shrieked and started giggling again. My heart swell up with happiness and I kissed his cheek. Jimin laughed too and came to sit near me us on the bed, ruffling the hair of his son.

"Mommy you said we'll go to Yoongi Uncle's place" Little Jungkook pouted, reminding me about the lunch at Yoongi's place, where all of my brothers were joining along with their families. He loved these gatherings because my brother sure knew how to spoil him with all the attention in the world. My father never lived to see him, but he would've loved him too, I know.

"We will baby but when we get ready, okay?" I told him.

"Okie. I'll get you dress" he got down from my lap and with little footsteps sounding like 'tap tap', that I loved so much, ran towards my wardrobe and started looking for my outfit of the day.

"I'll make a few calls, you can get ready by then" Jimin kissed me on the top of my head and got up "I have made you a breakfast"

"I have too cook something too to take with us, it's rude to go just like that." I pouted.

"I'll help you. Don't worry"

"Kiss me before Kookie sees us" I puckered my lips and Jimin quickly pecked them.

"Again" I demanded.

"Geez, you make it look like I starve you when we had three rounds just last night" he chuckled and leaned towards me but I pushed him away as I noticed kookie's small figure emerge from the wardrobe.

"Mommy look shoes" he came back and held a different shoe in each hand, a sneaker and a stiletto, because they were the only items he could reach.

"Okay baby, I'll wear them" I held his hand, took the shoes and put them down, then walked him to our washroom "let's brush together first"

"Okie" he said in tiny.

He was the ultimate happiness in my life but he also brought a strange sadness too, every time I called out his name.

It reminded me of the moment he closed his eyes in my arms, never to open them again. He was the reason my son and I were alive and so I had given his name to my baby. Also to keep my promise of never forgetting him... little Jungkook would always remind me of him.

Maybe some part of me wanted to give Jungkook a safe, beautiful and happy childhood and here I was, doing just that.

Jimin agreed to it too when he arrived at the orphanage and saw the sacrifice he had made for me and our baby, there was no space for any argument.

People say he's gone now, and they have new champions to cheer for but Jungkook is my forever champion. He lives in every breath I take, in the wind, in the snow, in the rain... everything.

I love him just like I did but there's no resentment anymore. For me, he's still here and maybe we don't have any physical connection, he left a part of his soul in me and I haven't let go of it, never will. All his sweet memories make him stay so close to me, as if it was just yesterday he held my hand and left that sweet kiss on my lips that still lingers more in my heart than on my skin.

Yes, he made mistakes but so did I, everyone does. But there was no one to guide him and I don't hold any grudge against him for this.

Had Namjoon not stopped me from getting the surgery, I would probably never had discovered how beautiful being a woman is.

How beautiful being a loved woman is.

There's nothing shameful or weak about being a woman, as long as you love yourself and stand strong. As long as you're comfortable with who you are and I am. Now.

I am a strong woman with an adorable child and a very loving husband.

As I look back on everything, I realise that I wasn't uncomfortable with my body. Never once. That's why I didn't officially transitioned. It was the people who made me want to be a boy. The men in my life, my father and brothers, were amazing people and the women in my life, my aunts and my cousin were terrible.

It made my subconscious believe that being a woman meant being like my aunt and my cousin.

But of course I was wrong. After I met Jimin's mother and Saera, I realised that it's the person, not the gender that matters. Jimin's mother showed me how to be strong and Saera taught me that women were also so capable of compassion.

And I also realised that every man Isn't perfect...

Once I stopped judging everyone based on their gender, once I stopped with the prejudice, I knew what I wanted in life.

Today, I love who I am.

I am just me. I don't need any labels.

Discovering what you truly want is a long journey. Some people are born in the right bodies, some in the wrong ones, it's the truth. And it's very painful when you have to suppress your true self to conform to the standards of a society. Being yourself is the very basic right of a human and you owe to no one, to change your true self for them.

But my dilemma was different. I just wasn't sure of what I really wanted.

I walked a long and tiring path of discovering who I really was and I am glad that at the end of it all I have everything that makes me happy.

A/N:

Alternate end?

Read ahead!

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