"Nothing makes you feel more naked than someone identifying a desire you never knew you possessed." -Jeff Zentner
chapter 37
Fly and Scar left about five minutes ago-- the tinsel blonde looking like he enjoyed teasing the god way too much, and the other done with life-- and he has yet to venture into the bedroom again.
Castor hasn't come out, either, and he really isn't sure what's going on in his boyfriend's head right now.
All Jazz knows is that his anxiety has chosen a rather unfortunate time to prance around in his chest and that he's a mixture of scared and turned on; both causing unnecessary adrenaline through him.
What if... what if the celestial wasn't okay with being marked like that? The musician never asked if it was okay, and although they did talk about boundaries they never specified about those types of things.
It was his first time, he isn't used to controlling the certain... urges that coursed through him. It was mostly instinct and learning what both he and Castor did or didn't like while it was happening.
He was ready, mentally, and his body had yet to catch up by being overwhelmed. He was fine with Fly, Scar, and his family knowing-- all of them knew and were raised to know there was nothing shameful about something as natural as sex-- but what if his god wasn't?
What if he didn't want anyone else to know?
What if Jazz messed up? Was Castor mad at him? What if he totally fucked things up now? Would he want to leave the island early, would he not want to see him anymore?
"Jasper?"
His mint eyes look up, and he realizes that the celestial was standing in the doorframe, frowning at him. His boyfriend's song was wary, confused almost, but his colors, all those greens, seemed to give out some sort of hurt acceptance.
Like he was expecting this.
His gaze swept up his chest, seeing more marks than he first noticed.
How harsh had he been to make those kinds of bruises?
"Did... did I hurt you?" Jazz can't help but to ask.
Castor lets out a laugh, the worry in those lightning-strike gray eyes giving way to something lighter as he shakes his head and walks up to the musician, wrapping his arms around his neck, "I'm not hurt, Jitterbug. It's--bit hot innit--more than I expected, but you doing this doesn't bother me. If I didn't like it, I'm pretty sure you'd be able to tell."
Would he, though?
He gets lost into his thoughts, into his anxiety a lot, and doesn't notice things.
He's literally walked out into traffic before, Viv barely just saving him from a very bad situation before he even realized he walked out onto the street.
"You have to tell me if I do something you d-don't like, okay? Even if you, if you think I noticed," Jazz said, pressing their foreheads together, his hands gripping onto his star's waist to tug their bodies together. It made him a bit more anxious, but the comfort of having Castor this close was enough to level it out. "Are you okay with these, though?" He lets his fingers run up some bite marks against his side.
Castor tenses against him a little, and he loosens his hold but that seems to make the star a little disappointed, "I am--bit hot innit--it's just, I'm not used to being around someone after that. Or really having these many marks." He admitted, looking away from the musician. "But with you, I like it. Everyone around can tell I'm yours, you know."
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Jazz Red's Anomaly
Romance"I am the textbook definition of in love with you." *** Jazz Red has had a life full of love; his parents taught him how to value himself, his siblings taught him how to stand up for what he believed in, and his family has taught him what it means t...
