c h a p t e r. 2

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"As soon as one promises not to do something, it becomes the one thing above all others that one most wishes to do."
-Georgette Heyer

chapter 2

There's something to be said about the quieter moments in life.

Jazz, for all he's able to do, can never have a quiet mind.

He doesn't know what that looks like-- to be so enthralled by the silence around him, to just be one with the world without it buzzing and whispering and dancing around him.

Everything-- and everyone-- has a song.

A little musical note here and there, some louder than others, some mere whisps against the wind as they struggled to keep their colors alive, struggled to make them more dull in some places and brighter in others.

He's been surrounded by people with loud songs his whole life.

His goddess mama and papa, although so different, always seemed to be on the same wavelength, their songs soft but intense, always telling him he was loved, always supportive. His twin's pulsing up-beat rhythm, unbroken by the people who told her she was too wild, too much. It was loud and unwavering and beautiful. Eris' song was quieter, admittedly, but it was just as noticeable, it flowed with life and it was bright-- there's never been a lackluster note. Nyx... well, her song had been so dark for awhile. Loss had numbed the sound into something sad, something that wants to be silent but its grief was much too loud for that. Now, however, she's getting her color back.

It was beautiful, all of their songs.

His family; they're all just beautiful people with larger-than-life personalities.

They have been through so much-- all of them, no exceptions-- and that was a curse, but their love? That was a blessing. They all love quick and hard and they fall to pieces for each other without worrying about the consequences.

Jazz has heard the story about how his parents fell in love-- surrounded by butterflies and not having to second-guess their love; never having to wonder what it would be like to be someone else's because they were, undoubtedly, each other's.

He wanted that. He wanted what all his siblings had, he wanted to love someone enough that he could lose himself in their music without worrying about drowning under the waves of expectations or go blind to other colors.

His parents-- they were the reason he believed in soulmates.

His siblings-- they were the reason he knew he could be loved.

His family-- they were the reason he has patience to wait.

Cas... well, he's the reason Jazz has hope.

The celestial might not like him back or even find him attractive but he was kind and he understood what it was like to be different-- understands what it felt like for his body not to listen, understands what it's like to not be able to describe a feeling past it won't stop.

Some people, no matter how hard they try, never get that.

But Cas did.

And he was easy to live with too. Jazz knew schedules were important to him, knew that he woke up everyday at the same time, had the same running route and even listened to the same songs when he was showering. They would go get coffee and Jazz would listen as the celestial ordered before picking a random item on the menu as long as it had caffeine.

Sometimes, he'd accidentally fall asleep to the sound of his voice; the ethereal green a much too warm feeling and the sound too soothing not to doze off to once Jazz got tired enough to rest his head onto the cafe's small table.

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