If I Knew Then (Phan)

Citizen Erased

Dan-

"I might have mentioned earlier I'm completely lost" Phil says after a moment of silence. I can't hold back my laugh this time.

"Yeah, well.. I won't be much help with that." I say, still giggling.

I stop. Giggling. What? I don't 'giggle'. I craft my face back into a stony expression and stare out the window silently. This is Phil Lester, school freak. I shouldn't be here.

Phil-

Dan's laughing cuts off abruptly and his expression goes cold. I continue to drive, as it seems neither of us know where we are. The rain is finally starting to let up and I can see out the window a bit better, so I don't feel quite as panicked about being lost.

While I drive, my thoughts drift to Dan. What's he thinking? Why did he get in the car with me? Why did I invite him to?

I glance over at him and study his silhouette as he stares out the window. His hair is still wet and I see he's leaning against the back of the seat. Without thinking I reach over and gently push his head forward.

I quickly realize my many mistakes with this movement. I pull back my arm quickly and turn the underside away from him as he turns to face me, briefly looking confused.

"The hell, Lester?" he says, his voice slightly raised.

"Don't get my damn car wet." I say, hopefully covering the panic I was feeling about the fact that he almost saw my arm.

"Whatever, fag." he says dismissively.

I laugh and he turns to glare at me.

"What exactly is funny about that?" he says gruffly.

"You really couldn't think of an insult that actually makes sense?" I say, still laughing.

He just continues to glare at me for a moment and then turns back to the window.

Dan-

What is wrong with me? Honestly I just need to get out of this car and soon. I should have slapped the kid for thinking he could touch me for anything, but instead my first instinct was to lean back into his hand. Luckily, I stopped that impulse and responded accordingly. Phil looked like he was about to throw up and he kept glancing down at his hands. I suppose he had the right to be nervous, we weren't exactly on friendly terms.

As the silence continues I lean forward to turn up the CD.

"Break me in teach us to cheat and lie. Cover up what shouldn't be shared and the truth's unwinding, scraping away at my mind. Please stop asking me to describe him"

I sing along with song until I realize what I'm doing and stop. I catch Phil grinning out of the corner of my eye

and before I can stop myself I start grinning too.

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Author's Note::

Song: Citizen Erased by Muse

I have no idea where this story is going! Yay! Yeah.. so bear with me. I'm making this up as I go. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. Thank you for the people who voted and on the last two chapters and the two comments I've gotten. You made my day!