If I Knew Then (Phan)

Complicated

Dan-

When I got home I didn't have any idea what to do with Phil. I had no idea where he lived and he was in no state to tell me. I didn't want him to know that I'd been the one to move him though, so I just stay in the car for a while, panicking.

I heard a moan from the back seat and I knew I had to do something. Taking him to my house might not have been the best idea, but I didn't have time to worry about it now. My parents were out of town for the next three days, so I carefully carried him inside and laid him on the couch. Blood from his head soaked into the beige cushions, but I ignored it.

I stay there for the longest time, just staring at him. Unsure of what to do, scared to try to help him and scared not to. I went and got a cloth from the bathroom and rinsed it with cool water.

I tried my best to clean up his face, but didn't really know how to fix him up. I noticed there was blood soaking through his white shirt and I went to reach for it but pulled back. He'd freak out if he woke up in some strangers house without a shirt on. I quickly took a step away, my hands covered in blood and my shirt stained. I awkwardly say down in the chair opposite the couch and watched him sleep.

His dark hair, now clean of blood, fell across his face, contrasting sharply with his extremely pale skin. His lip was swollen, but had stopped bleeding. He looked almost peaceful, or as peaceful as a person can look when they're covered in blood and bruises. I caught myself smiling down at the boy. I didn't know what to think, or where to look so I go up and went to the kitchen.

Mechanically, I washed my hand. Scrubbing under my nails to get out all the blood. I heard a startled breath from the living room and I knew I had to face him.