If I Knew Then (Phan)

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Phil -

I laughed, but my voice sounded hollow. I let myself consider the idea for a moment, but I quickly pushed the idea out of my mind. There was too much here, it wasn't an option as much as I wanted it to be.

"You've got to be joking, Dan." I mean.. He must have been.

He looked at me, looking somewhere between crazy and terrified.

"And if I wasnt?"

"Dan! That's freaking insane!" I nearly shouted.

"What if it wasn't, Phil? It's not like we have anything to stay for."

"School, my brother, all our stuff. We can't just leave it all behind."

"Right..." Dan said, a distant look in his eyes.

"I wish we could Dan, believe me." trying in vain to get him to look at me. "But... It just doesn't make sense. Besides, we hardly know each other."

Dan flinches and I wish I could snatch back my words, but it's too late. Dan's face hardens and he turns to me.

"You're right. We don't know each other. I mean, it's not like I ever talked to you before. What's it matter, right?"

"Dan, that's not what I meant." I say, hoping his face will soften back to the Daniel I had begun to know.

"I know what you meant, Phil." He says, turning away from me. "It doesn't matter anyway."

There's a long silence and nothing to fill it with. I walk back toward his room and grab my keys from where I set them. Glancing around his room, I smile remembering the night before.

I walk back to the kitchen and Dan is still in the same place, staring at the wall, his face expressionless.

"We have school." I say quietly.

"That we do." He says, still not moving.

I walk out the door.