If I Knew Then (Phan)

Offering

Dan-

I felt the need to call Phil, which was weird. Considering that before yesterday the only time I talked to him was to insult him in passing. But I found my thoughts drifting to him now. What was I thinking? What did it matter? It's not like Phil would ever find out about the inner works of my mind - if he ever did I'd be fucking screwed.

I glanced down at my phone and wished I'd thought to get his phone number. Because that wouldn't have sounded weird at all.

I glanced up. I must have wanted to see Phil more than I thought because I swear I saw his car pulling on to the street. It must be a weird coincidence, someone had the same car.. but no. I could see Phil in the window, looking dazed and definitely not like he should be driving.

Phil-

I was pulling into yet another darkened street when I thought I saw Dan's car... It was Dan's car. I laughed, though there wasn't any humor in it. I pulled over to the shoulder, right in front of his car. We stared at each other through our side view mirrors without moving. To be quite honest we both looked like zombies. Completely devoid of any facial expressions.

He was the first to move. At first he just opened his car door, but eventually he got out and walked to the passenger side of my car. I unlocked the door without a word and he slipped in.

"And yet again we meet in the dark on a deserted street." he says.

"I'm thinking we need to get new hang outs." I say, chuckling.

"Probably not the most normal places to meet." he laughs.

I flick the radio and Muse blares through the speakers.

"For old times sake." I laugh.

"Old times sake? You do realize this was last night?" he says, sounding disbelieving himself.

"Yeah.." I say quietly. It seems like a million years ago.

After yet another long silence between us he finally speaks up.

"So, I thought you had to be home"

"So did I." I say, and offer no further explanation.

Dan just nods and sighs.

I look over at him and it finally dawns on me that I have literally no where to go. I start laughing hysterically. It's not funny, but I can't help myself.

Dan raises his eyebrow at me, but smiles at my outburst.

"What?" he asks.

I stop laughing abruptly and look over to him, my eyes probing his.

"Why do you care, Dan?"

"Well, normally when someone randomly starts laughing like a crazy person, one is curious as to why." he says, obviously avoiding the question I meant.

"You know that's not what I mean."

"I know.." he sighs, trialing off. Just when I think he doesn't plan on answering at all he continues "Because I'm an idiot, Phil."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I'm an idiot because I thought that if I treated you the way they did they wouldn't treat me the way they treat you." he says, all in one breath. "I feel like that didn't make any sense.."

"No, it did. But that's also not the question I'm asking." I say, stifling a laugh at the disgruntled look he gives me. "I'm asking you why you care, not why you don't. If that was all there was to the story you'd be much more focused on you. You wouldn't have helped me, you just would have stopped helping them get me to the point where I needed help."

Dan-

I was stunned into silence. I had no idea how to answer what he was asking because I didn't know the answer myself. But I startled myself by saying:

"Because I need a friend, Phil."

He gives me a long look, and I'm about to get out of the car, get into mine and drive away because I'm so mortified that I actually said that. He just keep looking at me, making me more and more uncomfortable.

"So do I" he says, so softly I barely hear him. For the first time, there's a comfortable silence, where we're both just absorbing what the other one had said.

"Daniel?" he asks softly.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda have to go find a motel or something.. so.. I should go." he says, all in a rush.

"You have to find a motel?" I ask, slightly alarmed.

He just nods in assent.

"Why?" I ask softly.

"Uh... My dad kinda kicked me out." he said, laughing without any humor.

"Wanna stay with me?" The words left my mouth before I could think and then they were out and I couldn't take them. I physically flinched at how stupid I sounded.

Phil looked at me, disbelieving.

"There's no way I can make you un-hear that, is there?" I say, and I feel my face heat even more.

"Nope." he says, suddenly smiling. God, this boy couldn't make up his mind on his emotions. "Because I'm taking you up on your offer and you can't stop me."

Author's Note:

This chapter is dedicated to the lovely hellyeaitsme for all the great advice and critique! Thank you!

/rant/God, I'm angry at myself. Like really? How unrealistic a meeting can they have? Dan just happened to be pulled over on the same road Phil was driving down? Really? I'm sorry people, I am honestly not creative enough to do that anything other way. Serves me right for making things happen when I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing. /endrant/

The rest of it actually turned out like I planned something, so that's cool. Maybe y'all can just think this was my master plan all along? No... yeah. Me either.

Okay, so this time I was listening to 'Neighbors' by Academy Is... (which was not reflected at all), 'The Chills' by Blue October, 'Angel' by The XX, 'Kissing In Cars' by Pierce the Veil (Oh how ironic shuffle is sometimes) and 'Pure Morning' by Placebo (Oh my god, that song is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard, I'm probably the only person to think so, though.) This chapter took forever to write I keep just staring at the screen and zoning out. Sorry if this isn't one of the better ones, guys. Should I rewrite?