If I Knew Then (Phan)

Games

Dan-

My hands are shaking and I can't quite breathe right. When he leaned away from me, I looked down to the floor and saw a game controller.

"You play?" I asked suddenly. He looked down to see the controller I was staring at.

"A bit, why?" He says.

"Want to play Sonic?" I ask shyly.

He looks at me for a long moment and just when I think he's going to say no he just smiles and grabs the controller.

"Sure." He says.

I get the other controller and sit down on the couch next to him, he looks uncomfortable for a moment and slides to the floor. I felt a knot in my stomach, but I pressed play anyway.

***********

After a while I had won twice and Phil was laughing and attempting to distract me. Eventually, due to his incessant talking, I lost.

I playfully punch the side of his arm. He froze for a second, and I thought that I'd done the wrong thing but he continued laughing after a moment.

We started talking - about everything we could think of. But, I noticed we were avoiding certain topics. What happened in the halls at school and our home lives never came up once.

Phil-

I looked up into his eyes and it was like I could feel myself melting. You'd think this would be an unpleasant sensation, but it was the best thing ever.

Dan, probably completely unaware of the affect he was having, continued droning on about something school related. I was smiling like an idiot and my cheeks felt like they were on fire.

It took me a moment too long to respond to something he had said and I think he finally noticed. He ran his fingers through his hair, obviously uncomfortable.

I jerked myself back to reality and leaned away from him, though I was still close enough to smell his body wash. Dammit, I had to stop thinking like this. But with him so close to me it made it hard to breathe... It didn't mean I wanted to move though.

Dan-

Phil was looking at me. Really really looking at me. I looked down, running my hand through my hair and doing my best to avoid his eyes. He must have zoned out, I was being pretty boring. He leaned away from me and I relaxed slightly. His closeness was starting to make me feel odd. Not in a bad way, but not in a way I understand.

"Uhh.. Bathroom." I stammered and got up.

I walked quickly to the bathroom in the back of the house and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was so confused... What the actual fuck was I thinking? I shouldn't feel.. floaty around Phil. It was ridiculous. I shook my head and walked out of the bathroom, not having really decided anything, but having used up the time I deemed acceptable for me to be in there.

When I got back Phil had curled up on the couch, looking very tired. I wasn't inclined to make him move, there was something adorable about the way he looked like he could fall asleep at any moment.

"Tired?" I asked, laughing.

"A bit." He said and yawned.

"You can sleep if you want, your day was kinda... rough." I said, trailing off and looking down.

"Dan?" He asked, already half asleep.

"Yeah..?" I responded, quietly as though not to startle him into full alertness.

"It's okay. I forgive you." He said right as he drifted off, a smile on his face.

I stared at him, and I'm sure I was smiling too. I don't know why, but somehow he had managed to forgive me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors Note:

So, I feel evil for taunting you people. I just wanted to say I love to you guys!! I've got over 200 reads and that makes me very happy since I just started on here! -virtual hugs-

Bye lovelies, I'll update soon.