If I Knew Then (Phan)

Time

Phil-

We sat and talked about everything and anything while we sipped our coffee. The sky outside was growing dark, but neither of us wanted to leave. The sweetness of the coffee permeated the moment, soaking us in sugar-sweet happiness. Eventually the Starbucks was empty around us and we decided we had to go.

"You want to see the flat I found?" Dan asks shyly. "I was told that it was mine and I just had to put down a deposit in the next week."

"Sure!" I say, a little too eager.

He laughs and turns toward where I assume the flat is. The rain still falls around us, but I can't find it in myself to care. Eventually, we come up on a silver, new-looking building and Dan heads inside.

"It's upstairs." He says and walks over to the elevator.

When we exit on our floor he walks to the end of the hall and takes out a key. Sliding it in the door, he opens it slowly. I'm behind him and I see the entry hall. Dan walks in and leads me to what I assume will become the living room. I look around. It's big and clean, with wood flooring.

"It's perfect." I whisper smiling.

"Isn't it?" He says excitedly.

I just nod and turn to smile at him.

He looks like a child, giddy and smiling. His smile infects me and I find myself smiling the same over-eager grin.

"Phil?" He whispers.

"Yeah?"

"Do you.. Do you still.. I mean.. It was years ago. Do you still... Like me?" He shakes his head, as if he can't find the right word. "Doesn't that sound petty?" He says, laughing.

"No." I say, sounding very serious. "No I don't like you anymore, Dan."

He face falls and he looks down at his feet.

"Like you said, it's been a long time." He face manages to fall even further and I can't stand it anymore. I take a step toward him, resting my hand on my his shoulder and making him look up at me. "It's been such a long time and I never stopped thinking about you. Wondering what happened. And trying to sort of out my feelings for you. And it seems silly, counting how much time we actually spent together... But I think... I think I love you."

His eyes widen, and I can feel myself flinch away. Expecting him to call me crazy for thinking I loved him when I hadn't seen him in so long. He put his hand over mine and smiled.

We stood there like that for a while before he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, his lips brushing my hair.

"I think I love you, too."