Betting on You

37

hey all, just a little t/w. there's some self-harm contained in this chapter. while mads obviously isn't coping with her hurt in the best way, i want you all to know that this is never the route. there are people you can talk to and better days ahead. i'm no professional, but my pm's are always open. i love you all, and hope you're doing okay.

t h i r t y s e v e n

"Madeline? Dinner's ready-"

"Go away!"

"Who do you think you're talking to with that raised voice of yours-?"

"I said go away!"

I could hear my mother huff angrily on the opposite side of my bathroom door as I continued to scrub the floor, my knees aching for being on them for so long.

"You do not talk to me that way," she snapped, twisting the knob, "Now you listen to me-"

"Don't come in here!"

But it was already too late.

As my mother pushed the bathroom door open her mouth dropped, her eyes wide as she took in the sight before her. I couldn't blame her, though. It was quite a sight to see.

I was on my hands and knees, a towel in hand as I scrubbed at the bathroom floor, trying to remove both the stains of my blood and my tears before anyone would've noticed. And my tears had never dried either, which made the job much more difficult because every time I looked down to scrub the floor harder, I was blinded by the water in my eyes.

And then there was the blood.

So much progress. I had made so much progress and suddenly I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. Luke had played me. He had tricked me and he had lied and I was an idiot for not seeing any of it. I was stupid.

I'm so f*cking stupid.

I cast my gaze down as my mother struggled to speak and I resumed scrubbing the floor, my bloody arms still fresh with the scars I had just created from my wrist to my elbow.

I stifled my sob, sniffling, "I'm in the middle of cleaning, can't you see?"

I half expected her to scold me for my snippy tone—she never tolerated it. But her silence was louder than any scolding I'd ever received.

I let out a choked laugh, raising my bloody arm and wiping my cheek, feeling a smear of blood against my face in the process. But I was past the point of caring, "I made a mess, mother," And then with a watery smile, "I'll do better next time. I promise."

"M...Madeline..." she whispered my name but I kept my eyes to the floor, scrubbing away, trying to make my heart hurt less.

When she didn't continue, I shrugged my shoulders, "I'll do better next time. I p-promise-"

"David!" I flinched at the high, piercing octave of her voice as she raised her hand to her lips, shouting for my dad, "D-David!"

But I continued to silently cry as I scrubbed, trying to ignore my mother's looming presence. I think she began to say something to me but I couldn't bother to listen. Until I felt another presence in the doorway.

I looked up slowly and caught my father stumbling back a few steps at the sight before him, his face paled and his expression distraught, "Oh my..."

"I made a mess, Dad," I choked on another sob, "I'll do better next time, I promise-"

Suddenly he was on the floor with me, his nice blue jeans darkening with my blood as his arms wrapped around me, clutching tightly, "Oh, Madeline..."