Betting on You

51

f i f t y o n e

"Do you mind if we stop by the school for a second?"

I looked over at Luke as I fastened my seatbelt, his hand turning the key in the ignition to start the car. "You want to go to school?" I scrunched my nose in playful disdain.

"I never want to go to school," he shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "I have to drop off that paper I was working on last night."

I snuggled into the crewneck of Luke's that I was wearing, watching him pull on his seatbelt as well. "Oh, a paper? What is it for?"

"English."

Luke and I had gone for breakfast at a small cafe fifteen or so minutes from where we lived. It was a cafe we had been to before, years and years ago when we were still best friends, and I don't think either of us had been back there in the time that we'd spent apart.

Breakfast itself had gone better than I had expected. It wasn't too awkward or tension-filled and instead was surprisingly easy. Too easy. Luke was still a little guarded — it seemed as though he thought about everything he said before he actually said it — but overall he seemed a lot lighter than he had before. His posture wasn't so rigid, and his blue eyes were a deeper shade than the dull and pale color that they had been. They shined whenever I laughed or smiled at him, and that alone made me blush.

We didn't talk about anything too heavy, either. Not about his letter or burn box, or the therapy either of us had. Not about the bets — which I was starting to realize more and more that, while it was wrong of him to bet on me, he never made them with any malicious intent towards me. Luke seemed more kind-hearted and genuine, and every time he looked at me I felt my stomach churn for no reason at all.

But this, this was way too easy. How could I have spiraled as terribly as I had and then two months apart was able to just erase it all? That didn't seem fair. That didn't seem real. I wanted to give this friendship between us another shot because it looked like he'd changed, but this was only reminding me of the four months we spent kissing and cuddling, sharing secret glances, swapping secret messages and meeting in the dark of classrooms. And I knew all too well how that turned out for me, and there was no way I wanted a repeat.

There was one part of me adamant about not forgiving him, too. He was a liar. The worst kind. He had lied about his intentions with me for months and I had been too stupid and oblivious to the obvious signs because I had been so infatuated with him. I had wanted more and didn't pay mind to the consequences until they had actually hit me. That in itself made me wary of his intentions.

Yet, as I always seemed to do, I was coming around quickly to this idea of starting our friendship again; A clean slate. Would I be setting myself up for failure if I allowed this to take shape? Would I just end up back in this naive cycle of trust? I didn't want to be played again, that much I knew for certain.

During breakfast, Liz had called, too, and while she was at first scolding Luke for skipping school without telling her and having to receive a shameful call from the school secretary, she was more than happy when she realized that he was with me. I guess she really was serious about wanting me to spend more time with her son.

Now we were back in Luke's car, the warm heat blasting. I hadn't yet gotten my clothes back from Steph's house, and I hadn't gone home to grab my coat either, but the crewneck Luke had given me was more than enough to provide me warmth and comfort. The track pants from Liz that Luke let me wear just managed to reach my ankles and were quite warm as well. It seemed as though this entire morning had gone much more positively than I had thought it would, and I couldn't be more surprised. I couldn't get over how slipping back into this easiness with Luke came a lot quicker than I would've thought.