Betting on You

39

t h i r t y n i n e

"Maddy?"

At the sound of my name being called from the hospital room door, I turned my head, confused at who my potential visitor could be.

My parents had been filtering in and out of my room throughout the hours of the days, Jaime popping in to see me a few times here and there, and Aunt Marge sobbing at my bedside for long hours every single time she visited me. Calum had never returned, and Jaime was at school at the moment, so I knew it couldn't be either of them at the door. Neither would it be my parents, since they were at work and had just been here.

The door was slightly ajar, hiding the visitor and forcing me to begrudingly call out, "Yes...?"

When it pushed open, I sucked in a breath.

"Hey," Harmony had her arms crossed over her chest, an unsure look on her face. I was shocked to see her standing there, and I knew my expression said as much. "Can I come in, or...?"

"Uh, hi, yeah," I cleared my throat. "Sure. Come in."

Nodding to herself, Harm stepped into the room and awkwardly shifted on her feet as she surveyed the small space. Was she forced to come and visit me? I had been here for almost a week and was going home tomorrow. What was the point in visiting when I would see her around the house in less than 24 hours?

As she remained near the door, I took the time to observe her. I knew she was my cousin, but everything about her at this moment was screaming that this was not the same Harmony I had come to know over the past few months. She was wearing a large brown hoodie with a pair of black track pants. Her shoes were some simple slip ons, and her normally voluminous hair was tied in a topknot on her head. I didn't even think she had owned any clothes that didn't allow her to show at least some skin, but here she was, swallowed by what she was wearing.

I gave her an uneasy look. "You can sit... if you want," I offered her unsurely as she shut the door behind her. She didn't look like she wanted to be here, which only reinforced my theory that Aunt Marge probably forced her to come. "How have you been?"

"Isn't that something I should be asking you?" she crossed her arms over her chest as she stepped closer but she didn't sit.

I merely shrugged. "That's all everyone's been asking me lately. I hate the question, actually, so I'd prefer it if you didn't ask it."

My less then friendly remark made the awkward tension in the room increasingly thick to the point where it was almost suffocating, and I picked at a thread on the blanket that was draped over my legs. Harmony just continued to look around the room, not saying anything else, which began to irritate me the more she remained silent. Did she expect me to start up a conversation? Was she just here to check it off her list of things to do today? Was she going to ask me any questions?

Not that I wanted to answer any, anyways. Since my first night in the hospital, I'd been feeling more and more deflated. The bland food reinforced my less then eager inclination to eat, and there had been a noticeable shift in my attitude. I wasn't happy, nor was I pretending to be. I wasn't back to my naive, preppy self, nor was I full of energy anymore. It was like it had all be drained, leaving behind a hollowed out, irritable, shell of the person I used to be.

Someone who was now more on edge then ever but also didn't give a shit. Someone who got angry and irritated and annoyed and worse at attempting to hide it, simply because I was too tired to hide it. I felt utterly defeated. I didn't want to be me.