Mystique: Ruthless Red Eyed Wolf | Book One|✓

Chapter 18 I need you to know...

Kyle stared at the crate of wolfsbane hidden in the basement of their house. Diante kept it for emergencies.

If he were to ever lose control, which rarely happened or if Kyle did, which mostly happened. Mostly on full moons were Kyle injected.

He wasn't allowed to shift during the full moon per Alpha's rules based on previous uncontrolled shifts. Usually, pack members were injured. It was the best time to shift for other wolves though. Their strength was something beautiful and powerful all at once at this time. Their emotions and strength were at their highest and everything felt better, but for Kyle it made everything worse.

As a wolf who couldn't control simple, natural instincts and urges, the added strength from the full moon didn't help. It made him the most dangerous wolf around. The full moon brought out the wolf and you had to be strong to withstand the effects.

Kyle was strong enough to withstand them long enough for Diante to inject him but sometimes Diante didn't make it in time.

Diante didn't trust him with injecting himself before after the many speeches of he wished he never was a beast. Diante wasn't sure he would kill himself, so he relied on Diante.

As being a wolf for 6 years it was disappointing to never really experience what it felt like to be a wolf. A werewolf. To roam around freely, see the world through his wolf's eyes. He wondered how everything looked then.

Diante always assumed it was because he couldn't accept himself as a wolf that he couldn't control himself. It was never true. It was the opposite.

He couldn't control himself because he knew exactly what he was. A wolf. A werewolf.

He knew he could never see Jordan again being one, so he resented himself. Resented himself for being one of the few who didn't die instead of living from a werewolf's attack. That survived the venom it transmitted. That somehow, he was lucky it didn't kill him, but disappointed it didn't. It caused him to live and not see Jordan. It made him mope around wasting life because of her absence instead of living this new life, a second chance he was given because that's what she would have wanted him to do.

Angry at Diante for turning, blaming him, resenting himself for what he was, missing Jordan, missing who he was once before brought emotions he didn't know how to express, release. He bottled it all up. That's why he never gained control. It wasn't that he couldn't, he just didn't know how.

But when he saw Jordan again, a piece of him returned, the pain of not seeing her anymore was gone. It made it a little easier.

Now, he was grateful he was a wolf. Grateful for being alive because he could see her again. Kyle didn't resent himself anymore, he wanted to put more effort every single day into his life to make her happy. To make up for the time he wasn't there.

Jordan helped him accept, real acceptance and she helped him gain a small control of his life back. Even if it weren't his wolf, it was something. She kept him sane.

There was a part of him that had to do with more than being a wolf, more than being just a human that he couldn't control, and he nor Diante knew why. Kyle could learn to hold his frustration back, his anger when he was around Jordan, but when he wasn't, it wasn't safe. He didn't have an anchor anymore; he didn't have a safe place that kept him sane and therefore his control over his emotions would crumble and his wolf would take advantage over that break and overwhelm him with his strength.

After yesterday, Diante and he tried to understand what happened between Marcos and Kyle. A fight, they knew that much, but what exactly happened. How did he wake up, with no signs of injuries, unharmed, yet with Marcos's blood on him? What did it mean for Kyle? What did it mean for their safety from Marcos's Alpha?