A Second Chance (Hessa)

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Tessa

I look at the little miracle from my arms and I tell myself how lucky I was to have a beautiful baby girl like her. I'm seeing the future of her life without me. Because when you are sick, you are thinking about the worst things. Hardin is telling me to see the results first, but I have a bad feeling. And I'm staying with our little Emery as much as I can. Because I want her to remember about me being healthy, not weak and sick.

She's my bundle of joy after we found out about my tumor and she made my days better. She's just six months old and I'm sure I will be gone before she turns one. Hardin tries to make me think positively, but it doesn't work. He will do a great job being a single father.

"Tess, are you ok?" I hear him calling my name and I look into his direction.

"Yes." I say and I smile. "I was admiring our beautiful daughter."

"While you are thinking about the worst things. I know you well and don't deny it."

"If you would be in my place, you would do the same. I don't know how much time I have, but I know that I want to give her all my time."

"Tessa, we don't know if it's cancer. Maybe it's just a benign tumor, the surgeons will operate you and you will be fine. And even if it's cancer, we're in 21 Century. It can be healed!"

"And what if it can't be healed? What if this is my ending?"

"Stop thinking the worst, Tess. You are young and you will be fine."

"And what if I'm not able to see her growing?" I have tears in my eyes. Hardin walks to me, he gently takes Emery from my arms, without waking her up. He takes her to her room, then he comes back, kneeling in front of me.

"Hey... Nothing bad will happen. I will do everything to heal you, ok? We will go to doctors and you will see Emery growing. Everything will be fine, baby."

"And what if not?"

"Stop thinking in this way, Tess!"

"I'm afraid of death, Hardin!"

"I know. Everyone is afraid of this, but you are strong and you can beat it! I don't want to lose you and I won't lose you because I'm going to do everything to keep you by my side."

"I want you to promise me something." I take his hands between my hands. "If I will die, you won't suffer. You won't cry my death, you can't do this. You can't do this. You have to be strong for our daughter. And I want you to promise me that when I won't be here anymore, you will find someone who will love you more than I loved you. Promise me you will move on."

"I can't promise you this, Tess! I don't want anyone besides you. No one can replace you and you won't die! I will do anything to keep you alive!" His eyes are wet and my heart is breaking for him. "Let's just not think about this until we won't see the doctor, ok?"

"Ok." I say with a low voice.

"Let's go to sleep. Emery will be up in a few hours for her night meal, so we could sleep until she's up."

"Okay."

He takes my hand and we walk to our bedroom. We sit on the bed I turn my back to him. I'm not in the mood for talking. But he seems to know what I want and he hugs me from behind.

"Hey... Even if it's the worst scenario, I want you to fight. You can't give up, you can't leave us alone. I can't live without you, Tess. Emery is too young to lose you. And I'm not ready to end what we have. We fought a lot to be here and now I don't want this. I want you to be strong for me and Emery."

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