59. - Sorry

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I'M AN IDIOT

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I'M AN IDIOT. A complete fucking idiot.

Why did I touch her like that- fuck I even told her to leave.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

'Hey this is Zamira, leave a message after the beep... Unless i'm dead... Then don't' beep.

That's all I've been hearing for 2 days.

"Fuck," I growl placing my phone onto the counter.

A day after our fight I had spammed Zamira with messages, begging her to come back but as you can tell it didn't work.

And then of course I tried going in to visit her but she either completely ignored me as if I didn't exist or Matteo wouldn't let me in.

Memories of two days agos night flood my brain. How I told her to leave. To 'pack her shit and go'. But she had to understand that I was stressed out.

My type of work is dangerous and if I don't put all my time and effort into it...

Fuck but I need to manage my time well enough to spend it with her-

I-

My phone chimes with a message and I rush to pick it up only to be disappointed to see a message from my mother.

Not from my tesoro.

Mamá:
Sort your shit out.

It has a full stop. No emojis. No stupid x or o's after it. That's it, I'm dead. As dead as the Sahara dessert.

Grabbing my keys, I stand and head for the garage not caring that I'm not 100% sober enough to drive. I want her- no I need her back here.

If she wasn't going to accept my apology now I would continue to bug her until she did.

We were drifting apart for the last few months and everything just snapped then. In a way we were both at fault. She wasn't patient enough to wait for me and I wasn't giving her a reason to be. The only way to fix it was to handle it as mature adults.

So you wanna be mature now huh?

Once I arrive at the compound I close the door of my car not even bothering to lock it but rush up the strairs and press the doorbell button.

The door immediately opens, the unfamiliar angry look on Matteos face sending me at a minor shock.

Ok not really I've been met with this face every time I try to get to her.

"She doesn't want to see you," he goes to shut the door but is stopped by my foot. "You don't get to tell me when I can fucking see my girlfriend or not. Move," I seethe.

"I do when she comes here crying," he spits back.

"You always have to find a way to fuck up something good that's come into your life don't you?" he chuckles dryly.

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