Falling for my Best Friend

This is Bad

Wren

I'm cleaning up after lunch to work out some frustration, I can't stop thinking about how good Kilian looks. This is bad. I feel like I've gotten myself into dangerous territory. I guess it was only a matter of time before we grew up and this got harder. He's hung around my house and my family so many times but I've never felt this much tension around him. I just want to touch him again.

The landline rings, jolting me from my impure thoughts, and Quin runs to get it. She chats excitedly for a few moments, then looks at mom.

"Momma, can I go swimming at Megan's house?" she asks with a little bit of a whine in her voice.

"Sure, doll, I'll drop you by once you're ready," Mom replies in a sugary sweet tone.

Oh, no she won't, I'm not sending my little sister out in a car with my drunk mom.

Thankfully before I have to say anything Quin corrects her, "Megan's mom will get me in twenty minutes."

"Not a problem then, Quinny pop," Mom says with a smile.

Yet another crisis averted. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack with the roller coaster of emotion I've been on since last night. This is becoming a trend and I don't know how much more I can take before I blow.

Quin hangs up and runs upstairs to get ready. So before we get interrupted again I look at my Mom, when she looks taken back I assume that she can tell that I'm angry.

"What's the problem dear?" she says as if she has completely forgotten the conversation we had earlier.

Which at this point maybe she has, doesn't alcohol erase memories?

When I look up at her sitting across from me at the breakfast table she's just sat there with a smug expression on her face.

"First, let's talk about this," I pointed to her orange juice, "I'm not a little girl anymore, did you really think I wouldn't figure this out?" I say angrily.

Her face blanches and she looks me straight in the eyes but she doesn't say anything so I continue.

"What did you put in this?" I ask and even though I'm trying desperately to remain calm my voice is shaking with anger.

"Oh, just a little something to help you relax," she hisses as she pours herself another glass of juice.

My heart starts to race, when I look at the woman in front of me it's hard to even see my mom there, it's tempting to let it all go and yell at her. But the way she's taunting me, like she wants to fight, is throwing me off. I know Mom has a tendency to be controlling and manipulative, but this is a new low. I can feel my hands shaking with rage as I push my chair back from the table.

"You can't just drug me like this!" I yell and in the process I stand up and knock over her glass of juice.

Mom raised an eyebrow, "I can do whatever I want in my own house. I do not have to answer to you, young lady!" she says with a hint of menace in her voice.

She scoots her chair out as if she is going to attempt an escape but I'm not letting her get away this time.

"What if Quin wanted a glass of orange juice? What was your plan? Or did you just not think that far ahead? Wait, that's exactly it, you didn't think, it seems like you never do anymore and I'm done covering for you," I shout.

I know that she is way too drunk already and I don't want her to have anymore so I make my way into the kitchen. She's coming in quickly behind me so I open the fridge and grab the orange juice. I'm going to dump the whole thing down the drain but she catches me by the hair and pulls hard.

"Put that down, missy!" she yells as she twists her fist tighter into my hair.

Just then I hear the same mousy little voice I heard last night, "Momma, don't hurt my sissy," Quin pleads.

When I look over at her, she's standing in the doorway in her swimsuit and flip-flops ready for a day of fun with her friend, but instead, she's witnessing this. It's the stuff my nightmares are made of. I've done everything I can to protect my sister from my mother's drunken antics but it feels like everything is coming down around me right now.

Instead of making the situation any better my mom just grabs my hair harder and closer to my head, pulling the skin of my neck tight. I want to cry out but I don't want to scare Quin so I bite my lip to contain it.

"I won't hurt her if she listens to me, your sister is being very naughty, darling," Mom says sternly.

"Quinny, go upstairs, I'm okay," I plead, "It's okay, go upstairs."

Quin reluctantly complies and when she is out of sight I make my move, I open the orange juice and begin pouring it out onto the floor. Mom grabs my hair really hard and tries to spin me around, I lose my footing in the juice and slide on the floor.

But she pulls me back by my hair, keeping me from falling. For a brief few seconds I think she might be trying to help but then she shoves me into the counter. I fall down hard and my shoulder is throbbing. Mom just looks at me, but she says nothing. She storms out of the kitchen and into her bedroom, slamming the door.

I can't bring myself to get up right now so I pull my knees to my chest and start sobbing. My body hurts so badly and I don't know what to do. I can tell that I'm trembling, I feel like my whole world just shattered. I can't help thinking that there is no way to move past this, there's no turning back now.

Maybe I'm overreacting because I've never been in a physical altercation. I guess I deserve it for putting my hands on Robert but right now I'm so scared.

I don't want Quin to see me like this so I know I need to move but I can't get up, not right now. Kilian is just outside, but there is no way to signal to him that I need help, I feel hopeless. I can't believe my mom just did this to me. I know it was a bitch move to dump her liquor but I'm her kid, I can't believe she just hurt me like this.

I was just trying to protect my sister and my family. The doorbell rings and sends my heart off racing into the stratosphere. A panic attack? Is that what's happening?

I can hear Quin bounding down the stairs but the sound of my heart pounding nearly drowns her out. I manage to clear my throat and try to push through the tears to sound normal.

I call out, "Bye Quinny! Have fun at the pool!" I hope it's enough to stop her from coming in here.

When I hear her open the front door and Megan greets her excitedly I feel a big wave of relief.

"Bye Bye! I love you," Quin calls back.

I hear the front door close and begin to sob again, this time louder, my chest is burning, and my shoulder is already looking bruised and lumpy. I hold myself in my own arms and try to calm myself down but I'm failing to find the bright side of sitting in a river of orange juice and vodka.

Kilian

We got back to work quickly but my mind kept wandering back to Wren. I'm so worried about her and I kind of feel like a liar working out here with Shane, knowing what I know about last night. His wife kissed another man, oh and there's the little detail that I shared a bed with his daughter.

I'm not ashamed of that fact, I'm actually pretty excited, sleeping next to Wren was even better than I imagined it could have been and cuddling her is like next level.

I shake my head and try to tell myself to get my head in the game, I don't need anyone questioning me because I'm a terrible liar. Soon this work will be done and I can talk to Wren and things will all be okay.

I hear Shane and Nolan laughing from a few feet away and start to make my way over to them.

"Nolan, there should be water bottles in the kitchen, it's a hot one today and we don't want to get heat stroke, go grab some will ya?" Shane asks pleasantly.

Nolan nods then breaks away and heads toward the back door. He's only gone for a moment before he comes back out with a look I don't quite recognize.

He comes straight over to me and says, "Kilian, I can't find them, maybe you should go get them."

I look at him strangely but with the way he's egging me on with his eyes, I comply, "Okay, I'll be right back."