Falling for my Best Friend

Escape Place

Kilian

We join everyone back at the table to finish dinner, but the vibe is obviously off the whole time. Gael and Declan keep looking at me like I'm supposed to tell them what's going on. Quin doesn't really seem to notice and she is giggling and laughing about trying out for cheerleading. Eventually, Shane starts to clear the table.

"Thank you for cooking, that was a great meal," he says, looking at Wren and me. "Quin, help me with these dishes, they cooked so we should clean."

Quin stands up and starts to help clear the table, no one else is talking. 

Finally, Shane breaks in, "Wren, you should go for a walk, that was a heavy meal."

Wren immediately looks mortified, I don't know why he talks to her like that but it's clear to everyone in the room what he means. She stands up with a pissed off look on her face and looks at the rest of us.

"Does anyone else want to come with me?" she asks.

Eager to escape this tension, everyone stands up and walks toward the front door. We head toward the end of the driveway, but instead of continuing, Wren sits down on the ground behind her car. This was where we always hang out so Gael, Declan and I join her, Nolan looks confused.

"This is our escape place," I try to explain. "You can escape too if you share your smokes," I say, hoping he'll bite.

He pulls out his pack of cigarettes and tosses them to me, then joins us on the ground. 

"You guys are a strange bunch but I'm starting to not mind it as much," Nolan chimes in.

Wren still hasn't said anything else and she looks so pissed off, but finally after I pass her a cigarette she says, "Sorry about my dad, he's so hung up on my weight it's like he doesn't even realize how awkward he's being when he does that."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, you don't need to worry, everyone can see that you're fine just the way you are," I say trying to be supportive, but Wren just folds her arms and glares at me.

Before I can notice my mistake, Gael corrects me, "Fine is a four letter f-word and not the fun one!" he says, laughing at me.

This is Wren's philosophy on life and she definitely lives it. Everything she does is always just a little bit extra, above and beyond. She holds herself to such a high standard and is always striving for excellence. Calling her fine was basically the worst thing I could have said to her.

"You know what I meant Wrenny, you're fiiiiine," I say trying to save myself, but everyone just laughs it off including Wren so I guess it worked.

"What is this about f-words now?" Nolan asks.

"You can't use the word fine, like ever again, not in Wren's presence," Declan says.

"Oh c'mon, I'm not that bad, you can use the word fine to describe something that is boring, basic and plain," she says trying to explain herself.

"Got it, fine is now a dirty word, what about the other f-word? I kind of like that one," Nolan says, kind of laughing at himself.

"That one is allowed, you should hear Wren when she gets going, don't let her size fool you, mouth of a sailor this one," I say as I nudge her gently.

We all sit in the driveway for a long time just chatting and laughing, it's nice because it feels like it did last week before it seemed like the entire world was falling apart every day. Maybe we can actually get this ship righted and back on track. Eventually we all say our goodbyes and Gael drops Nolan and me off at home. Before I get into bed, I need to say something to Wren. Our whole conversation during dinner just kind of evaporated into the air, and I need to make sure she knows I'm not ignoring it.

[Kilian]: I'm going to tell u everything, soon

[Wrenny]: don't fuss about it, sorry I put you on the spot

My stomach sinks, there it goes, everything is just getting swept under the rug again but I'm not about to say anything right now through text messages, so there is nothing I can really do.

[Kilian]: nothing u need to be sorry for

Three dots keep appearing and disappearing like she's typing and erasing it and typing again. My chest hurts, after everything that has happened to her this week I've managed to make myself a problem for her too all because I let my mouth run away from me. 

Finally, my phone pings.

[Wrenny]: Don't worry about it Kil, we're going to be ok

[Kilian]: I know, goodnight

[Wrenny]: sweet dreams

Wren

I woke up extra early this morning to get some more sewing done on my dress. The bodice is coming along, and the skirt is going to be the easy part so I'm pretty happy with my progress. Problem is that I can't look at the dress without thinking about Kilian, he helped me after all, and then there was all that tension during the measurements.

I don't know what is going on between us, I know what I hope it is but also I'm really confused because I don't know what Gael is thinking either. Given the way he was the night he found me at the grocery store, I'm starting to think that he might have feelings for me. I don't know if I could get there with him, it's always been Kilian for me but now I'm going as Gael's date tomorrow so I'm going to do my best to just be in the moment. Kilian will be with Christy anyway, and I suppose that's enough to keep me away from him. 

I'm happy that I finally get to drive my car again, so once I turn up my favorite song, 'You Don't Own Me' and get that wind blowing through my hair I'm feeling so much better. I know that it's weird especially with everything else that's going on in my life but I get lost in deep thoughts about Liam LaGrange, the frontman of my favorite band. I'm convinced that we would be friends. His lyrics are so raw and I feel like our lives have been a little bit parallel. He is only two years older than me, so who knows what could happen? Now I'm lost in a teenage fantasy about my favorite rocker, but at least it's easier than thinking about what's happening with my friends right now.

School is average at best, nothing interesting to report. Gael carried my backpack for me when he could, my shoulder still hurts and it's nice to have the help but it also feels like something very boyfriendy. Boyfriendy? Is that even a word?