ODE TO THE MURDERED, bonten

38

PART THIRTY-EIGHT !
matching wounds.

            SILENCE. THE SILENCE HANGING IN THE AIR is long, drawling, palpitating and a cruel villain ready to consume you whole.

    you hear Ran part his lips, what came tangled between the crooked gaps of his teeth is but a shaky exhale. a single reaction enough for the enemies to yank you by the hair and push the blade further into the pillows of your skin.

    you hiss. Ran flinches, he glares at the man holding you, rigorous fury in the shape of dark red flooding his eyes.

    "lay your finger on her again—"

    "so you choose the girl?" Kiyomasa mocks. the one who had the barrel buried in Kokonoi's head cocks the pistol, the sound soft yet it rang like a clamor within you. his finger slides towards the trigger and you immediately open your mouth to speak, to persuade.

    "Ran."

    "shut up." Ran shuts you down almost immediately.

you inhale a long breath, your eyes trained solely on Ran, the waters of your irises waver because he knew what you were thinking, he knew the look that crossed your eyes.

    choose Kokonoi, it pleads, desperation dripping and burning a line down the untamed air between you. please, please, choose him—

    "Ran—"

    "stop, y/n."

"please, think about it Ran. Koko is more—"

"for God's sake, please be quiet." when Ran faces you, you're surprised when he looks at you in fear, a thin line of tears on edge of his eyes.

    fear, clear and fervor in those lavender eyes. fear for your safety, fear for Kokonoi.

his eyes contort and you see the same Ran as back then, back when Rindou was shot, when you were almost choked to death, when he found out Kokonoi was overworking himself,

    you see a glimpse of Ran that was too soft-hearted, too attached, too caring—not the Bonten executive Ran that was heartless on his skin and cruel in his heart, torturing his enemies without blinking twice and carrying out those ruthless orders from Mikey without an ounce of complaint pass his lips.

    you take a moment to see him, like fully look at your friend pinned under Quoia's goons: bleeding knees, blood-soaked attire, bruised skin, tousled strands of hair,

    and he's shaking.

    you're not the only one who's hurt and lost people, you realized. Ran had lost people too, Izana, Mucho, his entire childhood, his dreams, all to follow the bloodied path Bonten had plunged into.

    how much did the wounds in his heart bled? how much of those cigarette smoke, liquor and one night stands mended his tainted, charred heart?

    from then and there you knew—Ran would rather kill himself than choose between you and Koko.

    the revelation shook you to your core, you didn't know you were crying till hot liquid slides down your cheeks and hang on your chin.