Lost Minds

44

I lie there on Daxon's bed, the weight of my emotions crashing over me like a tidal wave. 

The room feels suffocating, the walls closing in on me as I struggle to catch my breath. Each sob that escapes my lips echoes in the silence, a painful reminder of the shattered trust and broken dreams that surround me.

I hate them all. I hate Daxon for his coldness, his detachment from the person I thought he was. I hate Maddy and Scarlet for still trying to be nice to me. I hate the rest of them for their silence, for not standing up against the injustice unfolding before their eyes until now. 

But most of all, I hate myself—for falling for their lies, for believing there was something genuine within this dysfunctional group.

I wipe away the tears, my fingers trembling with a mixture of anger and sadness. Their remorse means nothing to me now. I just want to escape from all of this, to find solace in my solitude.

The door creaks open, and Daxon slips into the room. His presence sends a jolt through me, and I instinctively scooch away, creating a distance between us. I don't want his comfort or his false gestures of sympathy. I just want to be left alone.

But then, to my surprise, he turns towards me, his voice filled with a mixture of concern and hesitation. "Naomi, are you... alright?" he asks softly, his eyes searching mine for any sign of response.

What...? 

He just didn't care how I felt, despite Maddy's and Scarlet's protests and now he's asking? Is this all some stupid front? Is he doing this for himself or his group?

I'm so exhausted of this. 

I remain silent, my gaze fixed on a point in the distance, unwilling to meet his eyes. What is there left to say? The damage has been done, and words no longer hold any meaning.

Daxon takes a deep breath and begins to speak, his voice filled with a raw emotion I've never heard before. "You know, Naomi, I can't help but despise your father for what he's done," he says, his tone laced with bitterness. "He took away everything from me—the love and warmth of my parents, the chance to live a normal life."

I turn my head towards him, confusion etched across my face.

"I never knew him, never had any part in his actions. Why am I being tied up in this web of vengeance and hatred?" I ask, trying to keep calm.

Daxon's gaze softens, and for a moment, I catch a glimpse of vulnerability in his eyes. "You're right, Naomi. It's not fair to drag you into this mess. But I have to hurt him the same way he hurt me. " he admits.

So he wants to take away his daughter, because he took away his parents? But my father doesn't even care about me.

"But," I continue, my voice steady but filled with a lingering doubt, "why take it out on me? I'm just an innocent bystander caught up in this twisted game. I had no control over my father's actions, just as you had no control over what happened to your parents."

Daxon's shoulders sag, and his voice trembles with a mixture of anger and sadness. "I know, Naomi. I know it's not your fault. It's just... seeing you, being reminded of the darkness that runs in your bloodline, it brings back all the pain and resentment," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper.

I let his words hang in the air, the weight of his confession sinking deep into my being. The lines between us blur, and we become two lost souls bound by a shared tragedy.

But he...

He said forget. 

Just when we had done something, something real, he took it away and tainted it with his trauma. I hate this. I hate all of this. 

I can't hold back anymore. 

"Did you forget about the kiss?" I ask, my voice laced with frustration.

He doesn't utter a word, and the silence stretches on. My anger intensifies, fueled by his apparent indifference. It's as if he's retreated back into his shell, shutting me out once again.

"What is wrong with you? Are you so afraid of facing your own emotions that you'd rather ignore everything?" I say, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt.

Daxon finally looks up, meeting my gaze with a pained expression. "It's not that, Naomi. It's just... complicated," he replies, his voice strained.

"Well, guess what? Life is complicated!" I snap, my anger getting the better of me. "But that doesn't mean you get to blame me for everything."

He reaches out, his hand hovering in the air before he lets it fall to his side. "I didn't mean to hurt you," he says softly.

"Well, you did," I retort, my voice sharp with resentment. "I can't even begin to understand how you feel because you won't let me in. You won't tell me what's going on inside your head."

Daxon's gaze softens, his eyes searching mine. "It's not about you, Naomi. It's about everything that's happening, the secrets, the danger. I can't afford distractions," he says, his voice filled with a mixture of frustration and regret.

I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm not a distraction, Daxon. I'm a person, with feelings and emotions."

He reaches out again, his hand trembling as he brushes a stray tear from my cheek. "I know I hurt you, and I...," he trails off. "But please understand, I can't afford to lose focus. Not now. So stay with me and let me use you."

I pull away from his touch. 

Fuck him. 

His gaze lingers on mine, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air between us. We both know that the unresolved tension and the unfinished conversation will continue to haunt us. 

And I'm glad it will because he deserves to feel every bit of hurt that I've felt. 

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New chapter sorry for the confusion!