Lost Minds

16

I've never loved words coming out of some body's mouth but I got to hand it to Ruth, hers ring with promise.

My parents sit with wide eyes, all flattery from before gone. I stiffle a chuckle.

"Y-you can't be serious." My mother stutters out. I burst out laughing, unable to hold back anymore.

My parents and Ruth gazes turn to me as I bend over, dying.

"No, no. I'm sorry, the looks on their faces were too funny." I catch my breath as Ruth sneaks me a grin, before letting it disappear as she faces my parents. My mom glares at me.

I like this lady. I can't even believe her.

"I'm very serious. You should be monitoring your daughter at all times, especially with her condition. You should be her support and guide during episodes and her dealing with her psychosis." Ruth says. My dad takes a deep breath.

"We have been. Haven't you seen our logs?" He says.

"Our parent check in website does help us track our patient's at home care but you've completely lied on ever single one."

Another chuckle tries to bubble out.

"We've had eyes on your home since your daughter sent someone to the hospital. We've seen how you and your wife go out and return late. Listened in on shouting from the home, and like I said we checked to see if anything you've logged in your account with us is accurate and it is not."

Another bomb. This might fuck with my head.

"So you're taking us to court and calling CPS, would that get her away from us?"

"Not necessarily, the court might just require you to pay a couple fees and you will be on probation. They will send people to check on you and your family." Ruth sends them a small smile and I frown.

It was good and it's still good, but I'd rather have a new family. Maybe they'd be more unpredictable.

"If that is all, then we'll stay in contact." Ruth gets up and I follow behind her.

"Fuck you." My mother sighs as Ruth exits and I close the door behind us.

"I'm sorry you have to endure them, Naomi. I'll be back soon." She says, nodding to me.

"Yeah, I'll be looking forward to that." She nods again and pauses.

"Naomi, you should- no, no never mind. Goodbye." She hurries down our sidewalk and hops in her car, speeding away.

I raise my eyebrow and shrug, turning back into the house.

There's something she wanted to tell me. I take a mental note.

If there's anything I've learned from therapy, it's the things people don't say that speak the loudest. I look over to the living room as my mother sobs in my father's lap. He pats her back, rubbing it.

"They don't know what it's like to feel like you've sold your life away to a demon. They don't know." She cries. I roll my eyes.

I'm not the Devil. I'd be too busy.

"Calm down, Sarah. We made a mistake but we can still live our lives."

I am mistake, one they should've never made. That would've spared all of us a lot of stress.

"How long are you going to stare at us? How long are you going to mock us, Naomi!?" My father shouts, as my mother sits up, resuming her glare.

"I don't know why you're trying to get rid of me all of sudden. You would've had an easier time doing that if you did it when I was younger, why wait until I'm seventeen? I haven't even done anything that bad this year." I smirk at them.

They did though, long enough.

"You think we didn't try to? You went away to an institution for a year and they just sent you right back." My mother screams, I cringe back.

"It was a long year, Mom. Don't treat it like it didn't matter." I turn on my heel and go up the steps.

Why do I even bother?

Her sobs reach my room. I close my door and lean against it.

A gun session would be pretty good right now with Daxon. The shots echoing throughout the trees with a soft porch light, shining down between Daxon and I as I shoot and he watches me, with his stupid fake ass grin.

I groan, climbing onto my white sheets and grabbing the handle of the gun.

I'm getting way too deep into this plastic friendship we have going on. It'll fuck with me soon, change me.

He's cool. I need him to learn from him but I don't want to want him around me. That's tipping my scale. He's trying to work against all the progress I've made.

My parents have hated me since I was born, and as much as I want to say that doesn't matter to me, years of therapy say otherwise.

Both of them hate me. Both. That says enough.

Somewhere along the way of us being a family, they disconnected from me. I did the same thing.

I hate them too.  I want to hate them to.

But when you come back from a prison and warm hands greet you, you become attached, whether that prison was in your head or not. Whether those hands are the ones who pushed you in or not.

They did love me. I remember then, but now I'm this crazy bitch that they can't stand to even see.

They're damn right. I am one crazy bitch. I'm going to make so many mistakes, I don't even know if I want to go through with.

But if it opens up a world different from the one I'm stuck in? I'll hold on claws deep.

I pull the gun from under my pillow, laying on my back as it casts its shadow on me.

I'll become the Devil they fear so badly.
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