Lost Minds

8

I spit on my front lawn as I leave the house, taking in a nice fresh inhale of air. The sun shines bright and big in the blue sky.

Daxon please still be around. Please.

I hurry to school, as my heart beats against my chest.

This is the wrong way of thinking and you know it.

It's too late for reason. I silence the voice in the back of my head and embrace the wonder around me.

A flower waves at me as the clouds turn darker. Thunder strikes and the flower cowers away from the sky.

I bend down and gently pat the plant, she looks at me and smiles, as the clouds clear out the sky and the nourishing sun appears, shining down once more.

"It's your moment, soak as much you can before the clouds gather again."

She thanks me and I nod to her. She needs all the food she can get, her life's just begun.

I'm just going to soak up as much as I can before the clouds gather again.

I continue on my way to school, enjoying the breeze.

It's the first time in a while, I've let me breathe. No more expectations. Not on myself, I did all that and she probably has a room for me in that hell of a place already.

I walk into the entrance of the dark green school, caressing the metal forest moss as I join the crowd going inside.

Same as always but different. Just different.

A hand grabs my wrist tightly and I turn back to see Daxon.

Thank God.

"Listen, Naomi-" I cut him off.

"I've honestly never been happier to see you." I move his hand off my arm and grab his wrist instead.

"Really?" He asks.

"Yes, I know you killed some guy on Friday but that's beside the point of all this. We can speak about why you aren't in jail soon." I flash a smile at him.

I continue to drag him through the halls, turning and getting deeper inside the school. He follows with no protests.

I stop beside a closet room, my hiding spot some days. Twisting it the knob, I open the door. I push him inside and close it behind us.

The bell rings as I switch on the light and Daxon's confused face greets me.

"You ran away from me Friday, why the change of mind?" He asks, leaning next to a broom.

That's what he thinks happened?

"Why'd you kill him?" Dust particles dance in the air between us.

Daxon stares at me.

"He was getting annoying." He says bluntly.

"People aren't allowed to kill people because they're annoying. Trust me, you'd be dead." I take a step towards him.

"Kill me then." He pushes off the wall, shrugging.

"Stop playing around." I continue to near him. He moves backward as his back hits the wall.

"I'm not. I want you to start offing anyone you find annoying. Maybe you can make it a trend, who knows?" He smirks, crossing his arms. I stop in front of him.

Everything's always a joke.

"I'd start with you." I press a finger against his chest. It doesn't push far into his skin.

"What an honor." He says, glancing down at my hand.

"Seriously, Daxon tell what happened or stay the fuck away from me. I hate being played with and I get the feeling that's what you're doing." I put down my arm, glaring into his eyes.

"I thought you liked games?"

I scoff.

Why did I even try? I'm still going to be sent away.

Life in a bubble, that's constantly being watched and picked at and told to be like everyone else. Just fucking buy me a ticket there.

"Ok, I'm done. Sorry for wasting our time." I turn around, heading out. It's better like this. My plans were crazy, actually not ok to do.

"What happens if I tell you?"

I stop, looking back at him.

"Then I know."

"And what happens if you know?" He walks towards me as I face him.

I narrow my eyes at him.

I have to know if he's like me or that guy deserved it because then I can know if this is a good idea.

"I need you on my side, Naomi. That's all." He brushes his fingers against my jaw, staring at me with indifference.

"You always look at me like you... hate me." I grab his hand and lower it.

He tenses.

"It's my face, ignore it." He relaxes again and I let go of his wrist.

I get it now.

"What do you mean 'on your side'?"

"What I said. When I need you, I want you with me. You don't have to know everything right now. I don't want to scare you away." I peek at his hands, as he keeps them clenched.

He's said plenty already. I nod.

"I just want to stir up trouble and you're worse than me." I didn't come here for anything other than my own selfish wants.

He laughs, as his dead eyes squint.

"That sounds great." Such a fake laugh, demeanor, even his voice is off.

That's fine though.

"Actually I meant I want my own gun." His brows furrow, as I fight to hold back something.

"...and I want my own Moe."

I said it. It doesn't make any sense but I said it.

His eyes widen.

"Are you saying that you want to-"

"Yes," I respond, holding my breath.

Daxon watches me, nodding slowly after a pause.

"I knew you would." He smiles, putting my hand within his.

"I knew you would help me out." I grip his hand as well. Whatever's his business is his to mind. No matter how he feels about me.

"Meet me after school. I'll take you somewhere you might like." He lets go, heading towards the door. I nod, as he leaves.

I plop on to the ground as a shuddering breath escapes me. I'm doing it.

Something I've held back for years and years, not resurfacing and refusing to back down. There's no reason to back down anymore. My mother should've just waited until the day the institution came to pick me up for me to find out.

My fingers tingle and my heart rams against my ribcage.

My chains are already too bent to be fixed and now, they're almost broken.
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291 ~ 7/30/20

Guys this is in no way glorifying mental illness. It's just that the story has to start somewhere and she has to grow from there.

Almost 300!! Next update soon!

Bye bye.