PROMISCUOUS BOY

Chapter 50: I have to tell you

"What is the matter with you?!" Katrina yelled, shaking you by your arms. "It was going to go out eventually! And who cares?! Not like I'm staying in this fucking band anyways! Lena was going to leak it, she has a photo of us!" you yelled back. Katrina raised her hand up as if she were going to slap you, but instead put it back down. "What were you gonna hit me? I would've beat the fuck out of you like I did to that blonde whore." you came into her face, intimidating her.

"I can not WAIT for you to leave Astral Band, I wanna see you regret every fucking decision you have made. I want you to really suffer with your career in the future, y/n. You have so much potential and talent, and you threw it all away, for what?! Another Javi?!" she said. You shook your head, your fists clenching but you knew if you fought her it would lead to you standing in court. You instead took a deep breathe, and shut your eyes.

"You know what Katrina?"

"What?"

"I was never even happy in this band. Not because of any of the people in it, I love all of them. I have made so many amazing memories, they all make me so happy." you spoke, her arms crossed over chest and her head tilted to the side.

"I fucking hated it because of you!"

You admitted, pointing your finger at her. She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue.

"You.. You put so much pressure onto me from such a young age and no matter how hard I tried to be amazing for you it was never even enough! You always found something to complain about!" you yelled, your voice shaking and you could feel the tears begin to develop in your eyes. "And the cameras constantly in my face everywhere I went! Limited to who I couldn't and could talk to! Rules I had to follow but I was just FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD!" you yelled, as the tear escaped from the corner of your eye. You released a deep breathe through your nostrils, staring at her with pure sadness through your glossy eyes. You closed your eyes, your head fell forward and you covered your face with your hand, as the tears streamed down your cheeks.

You moved your hand away from your face, staring back at her guilty expression, your eyes red and swollen. "I TRIED MY BEST, EVERYDAY! AND YOU NEVER SHOWED ME ANY APPRECIATION FOR IT! NOT ONCE EVER DID I HEAR A 'GOOD JOB' OR A 'THANK YOU' FOR ALL I HAVE DONE!" you cried. "SO YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S WHY NOW I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! I DO WHAT I WANT BECAUSE EVEN IF I DON'T YOU DON'T CARE! YOU DON'T SEE THE GOOD THAT I DO, THE EFFORT I PUT IN, YOU JUST FOCUS ON THE FLAWS AND MISTAKES THAT I MAKE!" you sobbed, your hand wiping away your tears and you were so in depth with your speech you didn't realise everyone was watching, the band, and backstage crew staff members.

You looked around at everyone, as they stared in shock. You look at Ramona and she quickly looked away from you, as you laughed. "And fuck you too." you said, looking directly at her up and down. Your mascara was smudged and ran down your face, your eyes were red. You sniffled and walked away, "y/n—" Ramona called, placing her hand onto your arm but you shoved her roughly away and yelled at her to fuck off.

You entered the bathroom, washing your face with some water and wiping away the smudged makeup. You fixed up your hair and blew your nose with some toilet paper. You took a deep breathe, your hands planted onto either side of the sink as your hair fell in front of your eyes. You took a few deep breathes, trying to decrease your heart rate and calm yourself down. Your hands lifted off of the sink and you shoved open the bathroom door, returning back to the room you were in before once you felt better.

There the group stood, looking at you with concern. The silence was broken by you asking,

"Can we get this show over with?"

They all nodded, as everyone began preparing the stage lights and music, Travis headed onto the stage in the dark and sat behind his drum set as you all waited to be told to go on stage.